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-   -   The involved dads... (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1486655)

PBAki 01-29-2013 12:26 PM

The involved dads...
 
Very interesting blog about dads that are involved with their children seen as heroes. Though I'll never claim to be the best dad I do find myself smiling seeing other dad's alone with their little ones. It's not exactly something I see around here often either.

Personally I feel there's a bit of traditional gender role still left in the society that dads who seem more involved with the children seem like a rare thing.

Thoughts?

http://daddydoinwork.com/low/

doodah 01-29-2013 12:45 PM

Re: The involved dads...
 
I agree with you. my DH practically stops traffic whenever he takes even one kid out alone, let alone four kids under 6. he does almost all of the ped. appointments and the staff there all comment about that. he regularly takes our older three to church by himself because I have had weeks of back to back illness. anyway, I really respect involved Dads and wish more men would try and get to that. its a shame when some Dads are just completely overwhelmed with watching their own child for 30 minutes, as if it is a stranger they dont even know.

Green Decals 01-29-2013 01:09 PM

Re: The involved dads...
 
I completely agree! I thought my own father was super involved, but my DH blows him out of the water, and my mother can't believe how involved DH is. She says my father never even changed diapers, but I know he had the "night shift" and would sleep in the rocking chair every night with me on his chest, because it was the only way I would sleep, and he still went to work every morning to put a roof over our heads. DH commented once on how much of a "chick magnet" it is to take a baby grocery shopping alone as a father. DH re-arranged his work schedule so that he only works 3.5 days a week, otherwise he would never see our kids. We also opted to homeschool for that reason (and a few others), but DH was not going to tolerate only seeing our oldest evenings/weekends once he started school. He doesn't see our kids as an inconvenience or a tag-along, and time with them isn't "babysitting". He is their FATHER, equal rights and responsibilities from the day they are born, and yes, equal care even when I am exclusively breastfeeding. Welcome to the new age of fatherhood!

mibarra 01-29-2013 01:36 PM

Re: The involved dads...
 
OMG I LOVE this!!! It drives me crazy that my DH is constantly told how 'amazing' he is for doing the SAME things I do every day! Now, he is a pretty involved dad, and he is amazing, but I agree that we need to stop acting like caring for your own kids is something above and beyond what you SHOULD be doing as a father! ;)

Kiliki 01-29-2013 01:51 PM

Re: The involved dads...
 
This blog made me appreciate my awesome DH even more than I already do. :wub:

He *frequently* does things with our kids without me. We've been busy lately with our stupid kitchen fiasco. But a typical week includes me having one or two evenings to go run errands, usually ALONE, while he plays with the kids, watches movies with them, chases them, includes them in yard work, pushes them on the backyard swing... then makes dinner and puts them to bed, and I get to come home to a quiet house and a DH who has this great excitement over some cool stuff he got to do with the kids... as he babbles on about things they did that were "so cool" (which, being a SAHM I typically see all the time, but for him, it's awesome stuff, so I don't steal the thunder!)....

He has taken all of them out to fun places without me while I do things with my friends. A few times, he took our 3 kids, plus 2 kids of my friend's to a park while she and I hung out. If he has to go to the hardware store, he grabs a kid. If he's getting a haircut, he takes one along. If I need a night off, he herds them all out the door to head to the park...

He SUCKS at housework. He really does. BUT. He is one awesome Dad.

I COMPLETELY AGREE with the blog and the idea that Dads in general get a whole lotta praise for doing stuff Dads are SUPPOSED to do.

I've had people ask me when they see me out alone, "Oh, who is watching the kids?" I respond, "Oh, they're with [DH]" And I've actually had people respond with, "That's so great he babysits the kids for you!" .... To which I say (I can't help it...), "He's not babysitting them. They're HIS kids." o_0

LOL

EmilytheStrange 01-29-2013 02:01 PM

Re: The involved dads...
 
love this :)

my husband is an amazing father - we are truly blessed.

happysmileylady 01-29-2013 02:45 PM

Re: The involved dads...
 
I dunno...

Mommy Wars are bad enough, do dads really feel like they need to get in on who is a better dad?

Honestly, a group of dads taking their kids, all of whom are under the age of 4, out to the aquarium, they ARE great dads. Just like a group of moms who take all their kids, all under age 4, are all great moms. It doesn't matter what your gender is, taking a gaggle of kids to the aquarium is a pain in the rear end and ANYONE who puts in the effort to do that is a great parent.

I think society as a whole needs to stop putting good parents on some sort of progression of 'good-better-even better still-best-THE BESTEST EVER'. Good enough is good enough, and always working to improve is good enough. Why the competitions?

EmmaGM 01-29-2013 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happysmileylady (Post 16222263)
I dunno...

Mommy Wars are bad enough, do dads really feel like they need to get in on who is a better dad?

Honestly, a group of dads taking their kids, all of whom are under the age of 4, out to the aquarium, they ARE great dads. Just like a group of moms who take all their kids, all under age 4, are all great moms. It doesn't matter what your gender is, taking a gaggle of kids to the aquarium is a pain in the rear end and ANYONE who puts in the effort to do that is a great parent.

I think society as a whole needs to stop putting good parents on some sort of progression of 'good-better-even better still-best-THE BESTEST EVER'. Good enough is good enough, and always working to improve is good enough. Why the competitions?

I get what you're saying but the point is that the dad's would be praised and no one would say anything to the moms.

I disagree on that point though. I can totally see someone giving mom the stink eye and make some scathing comment to her about controlling her kids, assuming they were doing anything other than goose stepping in silence.

happysmileylady 01-29-2013 03:12 PM

Re: The involved dads...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by EmmaGM (Post 16222283)
I get what you're saying but the point is that the dad's would be praised and no one would say anything to the moms.

I disagree on that point though. I can totally see someone giving mom the stink eye and make some scathing comment to her about controlling her kids, assuming they were doing anything other than goose stepping in silence.

Yeah, but I think rather than stop complementing the dads, the better answer is to start complimenting the moms.

jam's mum 01-29-2013 03:29 PM

Re: The involved dads...
 
When I visit my parents in Denmark, I see a dramatic difference from both the US and the UK in terms of the public relationships between fathers and their children. Paternity leave is both compulsory and generous over there, which has done *huge* things in resolving the gender gap in paid employment and in unpaid domestic labour.

It is really achingly lovely to see.


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