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-   -   Deciding not to breast feed in advancei (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1487221)

MakingHome 01-31-2013 07:38 AM

Deciding not to breast feed in advancei
 
I don't understand why or how someone would decide NOT to breast feed (even while pregnant, I mean). It makes me sad. It seems like so many women are giving up early or just never starting to begin with. Nursing has been such and important and wonderful part of having and caring for our five children, and I'm looking forward to breast feeding my new little guy, due in 19 days.

Do you have friends or relatives who have decided in advance NOT to breašfeed? What were their reasons? I do know that some women who have had breast alterations sometimes can't nurse but aside from a true physical inability, why wouldn't a gal at least try it and see?

Tris 01-31-2013 07:43 AM

Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei
 
It can be scary and intimidating. I remember as a FTM going in with the mindset, yes it's best but formula feeds em too. I was SO squeamish about something suckling on my boob. Obviously its not really like that, but separating nursing and sexual activity was difficult in my mind at 21 year old. I was fortunate and had a easy latcher, and good milk flow so as a new mom, I was never challenged with it, but I had read some horror stories and frankly I'm not surprised some people just straight up call it off.

l_Kimmie_l 01-31-2013 07:43 AM

Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei
 
The one person that I know who said no way did not like how her boobs smelled.

MakingHome 01-31-2013 07:47 AM

Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by l_Kimmie_l (Post 16228835)
The one person that I know who said no way did not like how her boobs smelled.

Wow, never heard that one before LOL.

Heather8183 01-31-2013 07:50 AM

Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MakingHome (Post 16228821)
I don't understand why or how someone would decide NOT to breast feed (even while pregnant, I mean). It makes me sad. It seems like so many women are giving up early or just never starting to begin with. Nursing has been such and important and wonderful part of having and caring for our five children, and I'm looking forward to breast feeding my new little guy, due in 19 days.

Do you have friends or relatives who have decided in advance NOT to breašfeed? What were their reasons? I do know that some women who have had breast alterations sometimes can't nurse but aside from a true physical inability, why wouldn't a gal at least try it and see?

Because number 1, it's no one else's business how they decide to feed their kid. And, because number 2, to the bolded, it's not like that for everyone. I know women who have driven themselves to the depths of ppd trying to bf their kids so they're not judged as harshly as you've done. It's not all rainbows and unicorns to everyone. :thumbsup:

Huxley 01-31-2013 07:52 AM

Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei
 
I was talking to a friend who had her son young. She wasn't really mature yet. I asked when she first left him to go out (to the bar) She told me he was almost two months when she first went out, but he wasn't breastfed so it was fine leaving him (she left him at home with his father, so I'm not trying to criticize her.) I guess some people choose not to breastfeed so that they won't be tied to their baby and so they'll have the freedom to leave the child.

I also know someone who chose not to breastfeed because she was taking methadone.

My mother wanted to breastfeed but was told she couldn't because she had epilepsy and was on medication.

I had a breast reduction surgery. I was still determined to breastfeed even though I was warned I might not be able to at all. I was lucky and am still breastfeeding at ten months (with a little bump in the road where I had to supplement due to low supply)

Melinda29 01-31-2013 07:54 AM

Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei
 
I personally know three women who chose to totally forgo breastfeeding and use formula straight from birth. One is an MD, one is a Master's level speech pathologist, one is a daycare director. All three chose to be SAHM with the arrival of their babies. Their reasons for choosing formula are as valid as my reasons for choosing breastfeeding. Both have pros and cons.

While I would love to see every baby in the world receiving breastmilk (and wearing a cloth diaper :) ), some families work better when formula is fed. It doesn't really matter, in the end, as long as the baby is getting FED. And to be honest, my one formula baby (not by choice) has been healthier, more closely bonded, and has a higher IQ than my EBF babies.

My sister put it best when she was forced to switch to formula for a myriad of reasons with her youngest: "Breastmilk may be a better food for my baby, but I am a better MOTHER to ALL my children when she has formula".

:thumbsup:

jac1976 01-31-2013 07:55 AM

Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei
 
This isn't totally me, since I really tried with DS (he spent 10 days in the NICU while I pumped, then I tried once he was home for 3 weeks before I quit) and sort of tried with DD, although I did supplement from day 1 and probably quit at 2 or 3 weeks.

BFing was not enjoyable for me. I did not feel any extra bonding with my child. I was uncomfortable nursing in front of people and hated feeling like I had to go and hide every time my kids wanted to eat. I also felt like it hindered me sexually. While I know breastmilk is the best nutrition for my child, it does not mean it was the best thing for our situation. There is so much that goes into being a parent- what is best for the child is having a happy, loving parent who cares for them and loves them. I was a much better parent once I stopped BFing because I was less stressed, more at ease, actually enjoyed feeding my baby, and overall happier.

escapethevillage 01-31-2013 07:57 AM

Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei
 
It's actually very common. Either they don't want to ruin their breasts, or they can't stand the thought of it. Some don't want to go through the whole process if they are just going to go back to work soon. (that's the reason I hear the most)

The moms who do it and go back to work find it very hard. Some deal with it, some think it's too hard. It probably depends on your job or workplace too. The ones who can make it work have jobs where it's just easier. It's harder for teachers to pump, but it's not so bad if you work in an office.

I nursed, mostly because I couldn't afford formula. (that's why I cloth diapered too)

Art mama 01-31-2013 07:57 AM

Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei
 
I think a lot of it is lack of support. If people were even slightly encouraged or educated they may at least want to try. So much advertising is out there to make bottles and formula look like that's the way to go. I really didn't have a support system and had only been around one nursing mom in my life. I was never really exposed to it. I'm not sure how I ended up nursing my first dd for almost 3 years! Probably because she wouldn't go to sleep any other way lol. I already have people asking me when I'm going to wean my 8 month old, I'm like wean??? what's that? lol

I had a friend who had a baby that was a few days old and he was on formula. He kept rooting and wanting to nurse and she said it made her sad. I told her to just put him there and try! But she never did. I think she didn't want to quit smoking and wanted to be able to drink.

I totally believe in a mom's right to choose and I know there are some cases where they legitimately do not make enough milk. But I also think mom's are not only shortchanging their baby but also themselves! It can be a wonderful thing to share with your baby. I LOVE breastfeeding. It can be hard and exhausting, especially in the first 3 months or so, but I try to tell people if they can get past 3 months, it's a whole lot easier.


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