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-   -   Self weaning (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1489841)

kelpie169 02-07-2013 08:33 PM

Self weaning
 
My middle kid just turned 2 last Saturday. He's still nursing. And so is my 4 month old. I'm honestly really REALLY over nursing. They're both SO needy about it. But I honestly can't bring myself to wean him. Obviously baby girl will continue to nurse but my husband has suggested (not pushed, just mentioned) that he's had plenty of breastmilk and would be ok if I wanted to wean. But I don't. I mean I do, but I don't. Ya know?
Anyways, when did your kids self wean? Was it a difficult transition or did they just let it go? Just need some advice I think,

megenic 02-07-2013 08:45 PM

I'm not much help because both my daughters weaned themselves around 14 or 15 months. They just lost interest.

Perhaps you could try just cutting back the nursing? Like maybe just keep the before bed one or whatever brings the most comfort. That was the last to go with both girls and I am sure they weren't even getting much milk at that point, but it still comforted them.

That said, if you do decide to definitely wean, dont feel any guilt! You've done great for a long time and the bf'ing will just get replaced with cuddles or some other comfort activity :-)

tibeca 02-08-2013 07:52 AM

Re: Self weaning
 
My oldest weaned, with encouragement, at 38 months, after tandem nursing with her sister for 9 months.

I am currently tandeming again, with a 6 month old and 26 month old. The 26 month old is only allowed to nurse 3 times a day (morning, nap, bedtime) or when I offer. At the very least, you can put limits on your nursing, so that you can feel better about it. Tandem nursing can be very exhausting.

kelpie169 02-08-2013 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tibeca
My oldest weaned, with encouragement, at 38 months, after tandem nursing with her sister for 9 months.

I am currently tandeming again, with a 6 month old and 26 month old. The 26 month old is only allowed to nurse 3 times a day (morning, nap, bedtime) or when I offer. At the very least, you can put limits on your nursing, so that you can feel better about it. Tandem nursing can be very exhausting.

We do limit it. Mornings, nap time and bedtime, but it's still so frustrating. Cause if he's on a boob and then the baby needs to eat, he has to get off and he gets upset. Sigh. And he asks for it constantly. We've done the 3 times a day thing for months and he STILL asks all the time for it. I think ultimately I'm just going to have to suck it up.

VeganCupcake 02-10-2013 10:21 PM

Re: Self weaning
 
My DD is 4y5m and hasn't self-weaned yet. I think the age of self weaning will vary a lot. Some kids are just more attached to the milkies than others. DD nurses once or twice a day at specified times. She doesn't ask very often outside of those times, but if she does, I say she needs to wait until rest time or bedtime. She is usually ok with that, but it did take a while for her to get to that point. She shows no signs of being ready to give up nursing entirely (and I am not in a hurry to have her wean--our situation works fine for me). Recently she told me she would stop nursing when she is six years old. :lostit:

Would it be possible for you to have the baby wait a little longer until the toddler is finished? I know nobody wants to make a baby wait, but maybe it would ease your toddler's frustration about it if you "told" the baby, "Just wait, big brother is finishing his milkies right now. Your turn is coming soon."

birdinhand 02-10-2013 11:45 PM

Re: Self weaning
 
I feel you! Anyone who says we nurse for our own pleasure is just full of it -- I hated nursing many times :).

I tandemed for almost 2 years. I was certain my baby would wean before my older child as my older child was a nurse-a-holic, lol. During that time I asked a lot of people about how their children self-weaned. So many of them said, "I don't know, one day he just stopped asking." I didn't think that would ever happen. With my first, I was right.

He started talking about weaning on his 4th birthday, about 4 months before he turned 4. Everyday he would say, "On my four birthday, I am going to stop nursing, and go poops on the potty!" I would say yay, cool, yes you can, but in my heart I didn't think he would ever be able to do it. He actually did. He woke up on his 4th birthday and asked to nurse. I reminded him it was his birthday, and he said, oh yeah. That was it. We did experience weaning-grief for a while, and I knew I could have thwarted his efforts easily, but we stayed strong and he did it. I went on to nurse my baby, lol (he was 22 months old) for an additional 19 months. He actually did wean like so many of my friends had described, he would skip a day, skip a few days, etc., until he never asked again. That is also how my 3rd child stopped, too. But my first had to set a goal and then follow-through.

One thing we did was tandemed at the same time, so my older child would nurse while the baby nursed, even lying down, and I never had an issue with that -- it felt like a time-saver. I know that doesn't always work though, as it can be unsettling to have two different kinds of sucks going on -- my kids felt the same.

So the general stuff, make sure he has a drink/food before he nurses, don't offer to nurse him but don't refuse if he asks, try to distract, have certain times when it is okay to nurse and even a specific place, like only in this chair, etc.

Also know that it is okay to press a bit if you are really geting close to being done with nursing. One of my core beliefs about nursing is, it has to be working for both of you, and if it's not, something needs to change or something needs to stop.

Good luck :).

chewie 03-15-2013 07:06 PM

Re: Self weaning
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by megenic (Post 16262658)
I'm not much help because both my daughters weaned themselves around 14 or 15 months. They just lost interest.

My daughter too. And after all the trouble we had at the beginning to get going I thought I'd be so relieved, but it was actually a little sad. If you're not sure, I'd keep on nursing, but cut down a feeding and see how you feel. You don't have to go from 0 to 100 (or vice versa)...

Greenbabybottoms 04-05-2013 07:32 PM

Re: Self weaning
 
My oldest self weaned at 4 1/2 years, my middle is 4 1/2 years old now and hasn't asked to nurse in 3 weeks. I suspect she is probably done but I usually wait until there has been a month since the last time until I call it official.

It was very gradual for both of them, at 2 years old they were both still nursing around the clock every 2-2 1/2 hours. It was never until about 3 that they cut back to 4 or 5 times a day. Around 3 1/2 it would go down to 2 or so times a day and around 4 just 1 time a day. Then they stopped asking every day, and that turned into only nursing 1-2 times a week until a few weeks would go by and I realized they hadn't nursed in a while.


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