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-   -   He wants to be in our bed. period. (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1490115)

Palooka 02-08-2013 07:12 PM

He wants to be in our bed. period.
 
Night nursing has created a little boy who hates his crib. He's one, and he wants to sleep in our bed and our bed only. Some nights he goes down in his crib for a couple hours before freaking out until I take him into our bed, on nights like tonight he's been hysterical for the past 20 minutes (I go in to calm him every 5 minutes).

It breaks my heart. I know he doesn't want to be alone, but I don't want to go to bed at 8pm every night either! I posted about this a couple months ago and everyone said it sounded like sleep regression, but the fact is in 12 months he has never spent more than half the night in his crib. Sure, sometimes he goes down earlier, but he never ever stays there. I guarantee that in 2-3 hours he will wake up and we will have to do this whole charade all over again, with him hysterical for 20-30 minutes unless we take him into our room. And then again 2-3 hours after that. He doesn't even nurse anymore, he just wants to be next to us.

And naps are no better. If his nanny leaves the room he sleeps 45-90 minutes. If she sits there he will wake, look for her, then go back to sleep for another 45-90.

:banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead:

I know he's little and this is just a phase, but I'm tired of co-sleeping. I'm a WOHM and co-sleeping was the only way I could manage having an EBF baby. But now he's not interested in nursing and I am ready to have my bed back.

But then I hear him crying and come in to see his bedding drenched in snot and tears and it's all because he wants to sleep next to his mama... and ugh I'm so frustrated and torn.

Okay thanks for listening to my rant.

p.s. and I have read the book "the no cry sleep solution" and it didn't help. Maybe because he's older? But the stuff about sleeping on the floor by his crib, soothing from the doorway, none of it makes a difference. He knows what he wants, and he wants out.

menthomas 02-08-2013 07:25 PM

:hugs: my 10 month old is the same way. He will sleep like the dead in our bed. But put him in his crib and its maybe 1 1/2 tops.

I guess I don't have any suggestions just an understanding ear. I'm at a loss what to do with him also. So I just give in. My ds1 was the same way but by the time he was about 18 months. There were some some not happy nights.

sisu 02-08-2013 07:26 PM

Hmm.. I have no real solution to offer, but there's hope... My DD started crawling out of her crib when I first put her in it at 8 months, so she was in our bed exclusively. Now, at 15 months, she's suddenly decided to go to sleep in the crib with no fuss. :dunno:

qsefthuko 02-08-2013 07:34 PM

Re: He wants to be in our bed. period.
 
Not much help either. My kids slept with us until around 4-5 years of age. Maybe put the crib in your room. My youngest sleeps on the couch when I am not in bed because unless thouroughly exausted he will not sleep alone. I can't really blame him though. I hate sleeping alone. When my husband isn't home I sleep on the couch rather than sleep alone in our bed.

Palooka 02-08-2013 08:02 PM

Re: He wants to be in our bed. period.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by qsefthuko (Post 16266938)
Not much help either. My kids slept with us until around 4-5 years of age. Maybe put the crib in your room. My youngest sleeps on the couch when I am not in bed because unless thouroughly exausted he will not sleep alone. I can't really blame him though. I hate sleeping alone. When my husband isn't home I sleep on the couch rather than sleep alone in our bed.

Over the holidays his crib was in our room while MIL visited. He was just as adamant then: the crib sucks, mommy rules. He absolutely did not buy our argument that sleeping 2 feet away was just as good.

To the bolded, this is exactly how I feel. He loves us. We love him. I love hubby, he loves me. I don't want to sleep in a bed without hubby, so why would I expect any different from our son?

But on nights like tonight I was all geared up to sew, do laundry, clean, and after fighting the battle of the bed I'm demotivated and lazy. :rolleyes2:

crunch!910 02-08-2013 08:12 PM

Re: He wants to be in our bed. period.
 
I have no solution. My baby is nearly 10 months and I've never tried putting him in a crib in a different room, but I know it wouldn't fly. I would never, ever let him cry though. *I* was the one that conditioned him to sleep with me and it would be cruel of him to make him cry it out.

No easy answer.. even my oldest who never coslept had a very hard time sleeping in a crib in a different room. Every night it was waking up 3-8 times, rocking him back to sleep, trying ot put him down, him waking up and crying immediately, rocking, trying to put down, rocking some more until I'd score some luck and he'd stay asleep when I put him in his crib. I was exhausted. I looked like a zombie. It is still interrupted sleep, but I feel more rested this time around cosleeping than I did with my oldest.

So as much as I might like to have my bed back some nights and some nights when he's teething and it seems like he dream nurses alllll night long... I remember and remind myself that he's only a baby once and I soon will be looking back and will I reallly want my memories to be of a screaming, crying baby? Nope... but I will look fondly back on the many nights we spent cuddling, nursing, and staring at our baby as he slept. I'm not sure when we'll be able to get him out of our bed. I do hope before 3 years old. LOL... originally my goal was by 6 months, then once 6 months came and I couldn't yet make myself move him (for my own lazyness and want for sleep and not wanting to have to get out of bed at night - AND because I LIKED snuggling with him), then it was 12 months, but now that that is nearing... I know I won't kick him out of our bed just yet.

ofthemoonsglow 02-08-2013 08:16 PM

My dd sleeps with us. And this is what worked for me - I put her to bed in our bed, wait until shes really asleep and then sneak out. She stays asleep for 1 to 3 hours. If she wakes up i go right in and get her back to sleep right away. I started this when she was like 11 months old and now that she's 18 months she stays asleep for 3 hours or until I get into bed most of the time.

jam's mum 02-08-2013 08:18 PM

Re: He wants to be in our bed. period.
 
J is the exact same way. She has a toddler bed at the foot of our bed, but she requires one of us to lie down on our bed, next to her, with a hand through the railing, in order to fall asleep. At about 2 in the morning, she crawls in to sleep with us, and we either sleep through it or are too tired to care. I weaned her at 13 months, but she still takes a bottle of water throughout the night.

About 45 minutes after she goes down, she wakes up again, one of us has to go up, soothe her back to sleep and then tiptoe out the room.

This past week (not realising she was sick [oops]) I foolishly thought I'd let her cry it out, and that surely she would give up and go back to sleep. Not so. Now her body is on hyper-alert to us leaving while she's asleep and even when she naps, we can't leave her. I'm not even allowed to put my glasses on (I take them off when I lie down next to her) :laugh:.

So no advice, except CIO backfired on us in a big way.

Treasures From Elf 02-08-2013 09:30 PM

Re: He wants to be in our bed. period.
 
side car his crib?

make it so it doesn't have a rail on one side and butt it up to your bed

best of both worlds

kelpie169 02-08-2013 09:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Treasures From Elf
side car his crib?

make it so it doesn't have a rail on one side and butt it up to your bed

best of both worlds

We did this and he still migrates over. :/


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