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-   -   What would you recommend for a 3yo flooding his diapers? (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1510407)

Stefibeth 04-21-2013 09:16 AM

What would you recommend for a 3yo flooding his diapers?
 
DS is to the point now where he's flooding his diapers and they're leaking everywhere. He only pees like 2-3 times a day now (I'm talking a 24 hour period) and nearly every time he pees it's just so much that he's leaking all over the place. It's incredibly frustrating! :(

And yes, we're working towards learning how to use the potty, but he's not there yet. He understands the concept, he very clearly is able to hold it, but he refuses to use the potty so it ends up that he just holds it until he can't possibly anymore and then he has an accident and is upset (this is rare), or he just holds it until nap or bedtime where we put a diaper on him (this is what most often happens). I'm at a loss with the PL'ing as well so if you have any tips for this, I'm all ears!

So anyway, back to my original question, what would you recommend for a flooder? Is there going to be anything that will hold up to that much pee? We were using pocket dipes, but we moved to Flips full time. Flips used to be bulletproof for us and do seem to hold up better than the diapers, but they're still leaking like crazy. I've tried just the regular stay-dry insert, the stay-dry insert stacked with 1 and 2 large sized hemp inserts, I've also tried a pad-folded flat (thinking maybe removing the stay-dry layer would help things absorb more quickly), a flat with 1 and 2 large sized hemp inserts, 2 pad-folded flats, and 2 flats with a hemp. Basically I can't think of another combo with what I have available.

I haven't yet tried straight MF (like a one-sized insert made for pockets) with a hemp insert on top of that. Do you think that would make a difference? Seems like it wouldn't because the fast absorber would have to go under the hemp so it wasn't against his skin.

I would prefer to use our Flip covers since we have that. Can you think of anything I could add to the Flip cover that would hold up better? I'm open to anything, but would prefer to utilize the covers we have.

Help! I'm really at my wits end with this. We gave PL'ing another go this weekend (this is the 2nd time around) and nothing has changed. He still refuses the potty. I think we're going to have to go back to diapers, but what we have just isn't cutting it.

Kayleen 04-21-2013 09:29 AM

Re: What would you recommend for a 3yo flooding his diapers?
 
Have you tried letting him go naked all day (Stay home/no company)? Or have you tried no dipes, just undies or nothing with only pants on? Soemtimes a couple accidents and he might just give in, as long as you don't make a big deal about it. Jsut say big boys use the potty when they have to go.

Also how much are you pushing the potty? My DD resisted more until I basically just left her alone. She knew what she needed to do, but was fighting me on it. She was diaper free by 3.5yo. She didn't really get the idea until she was 3yo anyway.

Stefibeth 04-21-2013 09:39 AM

Re: What would you recommend for a 3yo flooding his diapers?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Kayleen (Post 16518004)
Have you tried letting him go naked all day (Stay home/no company)? Or have you tried no dipes, just undies or nothing with only pants on? Soemtimes a couple accidents and he might just give in, as long as you don't make a big deal about it. Jsut say big boys use the potty when they have to go.

Also how much are you pushing the potty? My DD resisted more until I basically just left her alone. She knew what she needed to do, but was fighting me on it. She was diaper free by 3.5yo. She didn't really get the idea until she was 3yo anyway.

We haven't done naked, mostly because we have all carpet and I need somewhat of a buffer there so that I don't end up with so much pee in my carpet! Also, DS is quite particular about things and he doesn't want to go without pants :/ But, while we train we have gone straight to underwear. We also thought the accidents would naturally motivate him, but while he doesn't like it he would rather have an accident than use the potty, it seems. And he REALLY doesn't want to have an accident. Like I said, accidents are really rare, but they only happen when he just can't possibly hold it in any longer :(

The first time we trained (this was over the course of 6 days) we started out with putting him on the potty at regular intervals, which was a struggle, but we quickly realized he's beyond that. He knows pee is *supposed* to go in the potty, he just doesn't want to do that. So we stopped that, but we did ask him frequently about using the potty. That didn't seem to work.

This time around (we started again Friday morning, so just 2 days, this is the 3rd) we haven't forced him to sit on the potty, we very rarely bring it up. For example, he really wanted to go to the store with MH today and we were just honest with him and said, we're afraid you might have an accident at the store. If you'd like to go you need to put your pee in the potty first. He really wanted to go to the store, but not enough to go potty so he didn't go :shrug:

Backing off has definitely helped with our sanity, but I don't know that it has made a difference to DS other than he doesn't have to fight us on it because it's a non-issue. He very rarely pees and it's very rare that he has an accident so... there's not many learning moments available, KWIM?

Thanks for the advice though. I love to hear other people's perspectives. Anything is helpful!

Based on your own experience, would you say we should keep going with the underwear and just remain hands off and hope that DS reaches some tipping point where he's self-motivated to use the potty? Or is it time to back off, go back to diapers, and wait until he shows some interest in the potty?

FWIW, I'm quite conflicted about what to do because DS has always been happy with the status quo (with anything) and somewhat resistant to change so I honestly question whether we'll get to the point where he'll change his mind and suddenly become interested in the potty if we return to diapers. I know they say "kids don't go to school in diapers! They'll figure it out!", but I truly wonder about DS. At the same time, I don't know that leaving him in underwear is conducive to much either. Ugh...

blondeviolin 04-21-2013 09:58 AM

Re: What would you recommend for a 3yo flooding his diapers?
 
This was my oldest. I don't know that I would push it. I'd keep diapers for out, but underpants for home. If/when he goes, I'd have him take care of it: "Oh! Potty goes in the toilet! Here's a towel and cleaner. Go clean your mess and ten go change yourself." If he's not dressing himself, I'd start placing him on the potty first thing in the AM and work on going then and only then and then focus the rest of my attention on changing himself. Then, "accidents" can be his thing to clean/do. I would like to say that my oldest got sick of cleaning it and used the potty 100% after a time. That wasn't the case. But, after a point, it became about her cleaning up after herself and it being her responsibility and not mine.

She's nearly 7 now and hasn't had issues in years. But she was over 4 before she got her act together about it.

As for diapers, I'd probably move to fitteds or fastening flats/prefolds around him so there is more surface area for the wetness to move to.

Stefibeth 04-21-2013 10:10 AM

Re: What would you recommend for a 3yo flooding his diapers?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by blondeviolin (Post 16518080)
This was my oldest. I don't know that I would push it. I'd keep diapers for out, but underpants for home. If/when he goes, I'd have him take care of it: "Oh! Potty goes in the toilet! Here's a towel and cleaner. Go clean your mess and ten go change yourself." If he's not dressing himself, I'd start placing him on the potty first thing in the AM and work on going then and only then and then focus the rest of my attention on changing himself. Then, "accidents" can be his thing to clean/do. I would like to say that my oldest got sick of cleaning it and used the potty 100% after a time. That wasn't the case. But, after a point, it became about her cleaning up after herself and it being her responsibility and not mine.

She's nearly 7 now and hasn't had issues in years. But she was over 4 before she got her act together about it.

As for diapers, I'd probably move to fitteds or fastening flats/prefolds around him so there is more surface area for the wetness to move to.

Thanks for the advice!

Ugh... over 4. I feel like we're SO close. If he would just go pee in the potty we'd be done with this! So frustrating.

Oh well, it is what it is. This is certainly something he has to figure out on his own!

I didn't really think about doing underwear at home and diapers while out. That's always a big no-no it seems BUT we're in somewhat of a unique situation so maybe it would work to do a hybrid. It's not like he just pees whenever while he has a diaper on and he does know the difference. He still only pees 2-3 times a day whether he's wearing underwear or diapers. He tends not to wait until nap/bed time if he has a diaper on, but it's no more frequent if that makes sense.

Shaylee 04-21-2013 10:27 AM

Re: What would you recommend for a 3yo flooding his diapers?
 
As long as there are no underlying issues that may be inhibiting him from using the potty this is what I would do.

Buy a pack of pull ups and the coolest big boy underwear you can find. Maybe even let him pick it out. Set out both and let him decide what to wear. I suggest these options because paper trainers should be less appealing than cool underwear.

Also, at age three, a typical child should also be able to start learning the skill of dressing himself so why not use this as an opportunity to start learning. Continuing to diaper a three year old reduces the opportunities that he has to practice this skill. I would help out as much as needed to avoid frustration and also keep it upbeat and positive.

However, you know your child best and these are only suggestions that I would use based on the information that you provided. I know that every child learns at there own pace and if the suggestions that you get here don't work, maybe he needs a little more time. Good luck.:goodvibes:

blondeviolin 04-21-2013 10:34 AM

Re: What would you recommend for a 3yo flooding his diapers?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Stefibeth (Post 16518113)
Thanks for the advice!

Ugh... over 4. I feel like we're SO close. If he would just go pee in the potty we'd be done with this! So frustrating.

Oh well, it is what it is. This is certainly something he has to figure out on his own!

I didn't really think about doing underwear at home and diapers while out. That's always a big no-no it seems BUT we're in somewhat of a unique situation so maybe it would work to do a hybrid. It's not like he just pees whenever while he has a diaper on and he does know the difference. He still only pees 2-3 times a day whether he's wearing underwear or diapers. He tends not to wait until nap/bed time if he has a diaper on, but it's no more frequent if that makes sense.

You always hear that you should be underwear all or nothing, but I've found that at this age, he probably know the difference between diapers and underwear. It's never confused my kids.

And it may be that once he decides he can go in the potty, he will be trained in the blink of an eye. Have you tried a little potty vs a big potty? No difference?

astutzman 04-21-2013 02:07 PM

Re: What would you recommend for a 3yo flooding his diapers?
 
I would buy bigger diapers. Hiney Liney's maks a big kid diaper for kids from 30-60 lbs. They worked perfect for us when my lo went through this same thing.

disbugsmomma 04-21-2013 03:04 PM

Re: What would you recommend for a 3yo flooding his diapers?
 
Have you tried having him stand up to pee? Maybe throw some Cheerios in the bowl and have him try to hit them. Other than that, I have no ideas.

Sarai* 04-21-2013 03:50 PM

Re: What would you recommend for a 3yo flooding his diapers?
 
The nice thick "nighttime" organic flip inserts!


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