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Old 11-19-2012, 02:11 PM   #5
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ProudGingerMama
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Oahu
Posts: 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by soonerfan
In this case, I agree with your counselor. It isn't ideal, but neither is a split family (speaking from a lot of experience with a step family both as a child and a parent).

Ime, the best thing for your ydd is to spend a lot more time with her dad and sister. If she adjusts now, before she can really remember, to a life of one week with each parent, then she won't have a difficult transition later. Her dad is every bit as much her parent as you are, and dads are equally important. Unless one parent is unfit, I totally advocate for equal time, no matter the age.
I would agree with my counselor as well, if the situation was different. Their dad isn't willing to even listen to me. Even after taking him with me to a dr appointment for my youngest and hearing what the doctor says he won't listen. I grew up with my parents divorced as well. I was 7 and my dad got full custody of us. I know what it's like to grow up with your parents fighting and warring over you. And I know what it's like to have one of them trying to use you against the other. I would love for my daughters to both have a wonderful relationship with their dad and I think it is very important as well, unless their health (mental, emotional and physical) is jeopardized. Unfortunately, their father is very good at manipulating and lying. Unless you are around him 100% of the time you don't see it. If he had cultivated his relationship with YDD as he has with ODD it wouldn't be an issue either. He has basically ignored our youngest for the first year of her life. I have provided everything for her since the day she was born.

I do appreciate hearing others opinions and do agree that if the situation is right then it is best for children to spend equal time with both parents. The situation isn't always right.

Ginger mama of 2 gorgeous ginger babies (DD-4 and DD-15 months) Sent from my iPhone (which definitely thinks its smarter than me) using DS Forum
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