Re: Pretoddlers and visitstion
My ex and I split when the boys were 1 and 2. I breastfed my youngest until he was 2 even though he spent nights with his dad. Divorce sucks so my biggest concern changed from staying close to my kids to making sure that they could continue to depend on their dad and I working together. Of course I still stay as consistent and loving as I can to get that strong bond with them.
If your ex is a bad person then I would dedicate the next 6 months to get evidence to have his time with your dds decreased. If he's not terrible enough to do that then I would figure out a way to smooth out custody.
While I think bfing is completely wonderful and nothing quite compares to it you are still getting in the way of her dad getting close to his daughter. Although she can't bf with him they coudl find other close bondds.
Also, it is pretty normal for dads to basically neglect the new baby. Their instincts suck and they are more comfortable with the first borns.
All that said keep listening to your heart!!! I know I sounded harsh but that is what I had to tell myself. I'm still not 100% sure I made the right decision. The boys are 6 and 7 now and their dad and I continue to parent together (along with their step-mom) quite successfully. I know I've done some things right and some things wrong and I'm sure I will continue that pattern for the rest of their lives
Suzi, working mama to my ODS(2004)
and married to the love of my life