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Old 11-20-2012, 08:47 AM   #7
Liadan23
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Join Date: Nov 2009
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Re: Question re: time-outs

ugh my 3 yr old does this all.the.time. he totally knows that pulling the "i have to go potty" card is going to get him out of timeout. he does have to go back and finish afterwards though. but it's soooo annoying and makes the whole punishment last like 15 minutes with all his dithering in the bathroom. but, i dunno, i just can't see making him wait. he's been pt'd probably since the begining of the summer, but i feel like he's still pretty young and it's still relatively new so i feel mean making him wait. and actually, the first few times he did it, i did make him wait. and he had an accident and then i felt really bad. i felt like it was really cruel. there's a line between standing firm and playing power games.

i would be pretty pissed if my dcp did that. that's just mean. and when my ds was the age your dd is, he was only JUST pt'd, and i would have been REALLY angry. little kids who have only just pt'd don't have as good a handle on when they feel they "have to go" and aren't as good at knowing how to hold it when they do have to. so when he says he has to go, he has to GO. NOW. also, pt'ing was a huge power/control thing for my ds. any direct efforts we made to get him to sit on the potty were met with complete resistance. even now, telling him "it's time to go potty. sit down and try to go" starts a huge struggle that, imo, is not worth fighting. and, if he doesn't have to go, he doesn't have to go you know? it's perfectly believable though, that 10 minutes later he will have to go, and it will be an emergency. if we simply ask him if he has to, and show that we trust what he tells us and he controls what he does with pottying, then if he has to go, he'll go.

i would be double mad at your babysitter's dh. what a jerk. i would possibly say something like that to ds if he peed on purpose (he's done this a couple times. i was NOT pleased). otherwise, i don't think it's a good idea to punish children when they have accidents. they can't control it, it's something they will gain as they get older.
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