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Old 11-25-2012, 05:53 AM   #14
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Re: I could use some advice...

Originally Posted by luvsviola View Post
I'm going to be real honest...

I am a busy person. It is not that I don't care it was your child's birthday. But honestly, unless there is a party, I often don't remember. I don't intentionally miss my nieces and nephew's birthdays. But I also don't call to acknowledge them either, because between work, my kids, and the million other things going on in my life, most of the time, I don't remember that it is your kid's birthday.

Sounds harsh, but that is the truth, at least for me. No party generally will mean no acknowledgement. I don't remember any of my aunts calling me for mine, and I have 5 aunts. The only people that ever call are my parents and sometimes my grandparents.

I'm going to bet that nothing intentional is meant by it, but you could talk to them about it.
I'm not that super busy, but I do agree with this basically. If there isn't a party, I wouldn't get a gift and unless it was a kid I was really close to, I likely wouldn't remember to call or send a card (which I hate anyway, it just ends up being trashed). Honestly, I know a lot of DS moms are anit party/celebration for some weird reasons people have cited, but the bottom line for me is no party on your part tells me it's not that important to you, so why should it be important to me? I understand that some people here will be ticked by that statement, but it's how it is in the general population. In my circle, no one except grandparents of the child would send gifts if there was no party. Most wouldn't think to call and whatnot either, and I personally don't even like giving cards at parties much less "just because."

On a semi related note, I can sympathize OP. I have a brother that has a now turned 5 yr old son. DH and i ALWAYS as in every single year buy him a NICE birthday present and xmas present. As in, this year he's getting a razor scooter from us. My mom or dad always throws a big party for my brothers son at their house (brother lives in a small apartment, doesn't want to party plan, cook, etc) and we always throw a b-day party for our son at our house. My brother never attends our DS's birthday or sends a gift (we all live very close to eachother, brother is like 10 minutes away). He does usually get him an x-mas present. It's a little frustrating. But it's how he is and I've just accepted that I personally want to get my nephew gifts for special holidays, and will regardless of how my brother acts.
Proud SAHM to Connor (8-6-10) and our little born 4-14-13

Last edited by Mom2Connor; 11-25-2012 at 05:57 AM.
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