Re: Bottle before bed - almost 21 month old
We just planned on going with the bottle as long as we felt comfortable with it. But around 14 months she started getting really attached and clingy and dependent on it. So we switched to sippy cups (milk before bed, and/or water in the crib) and she seems ok. Occasionally she gets up in the middle of the night and desperately needs her milk cup. She rarely drinks it, usually just hugs it.
Becoming really attached to the bottle, and worrying about teeth brushing after milk were the reasons we got rid of the bottle. But I say go with what feels comfortable and natural for your family.