I think u can both be right . My sil and her friend had a drawer of candy at their respective houses and the kids could have it whenever however much from a young age. All the kids self regulated and are very healthy eaters as teens. I was really strict with my older kids but now with a non compliant dh and teens in the house there is a good amount of junk here and I bake a lot. The 2 yr old (while I don't give him free reign) will set down a cookie for hummus or fruit or peppers etc. he regulates really well. I don't think you are doing anything wrong by being strict though!
Jul, This used to be a great place