Re: S/o what discipline works in YOUR family???
My own child was very easy. Just let everything roll off her back, easy to entertain...etc.
So, with that in mind...
I used only natural consequences. If she did something wrong, she could just fess up, and then she needed to fix it. She ALWAYS told me...sometimes it was worse than others. Sometimes it was something mean to another kid. But, she had to fix it right away. I could have input on how she fixed it, but she had to come up with an idea ASAP.
If she hit or bit (she was a biter) she did get sent to her room. (not nicely either) But, if she hurt someone's feelings, or stole something from them, she was expected to make it right. She could help the other child, spend time with them, give them something to make up for what she took, broke, or used.
She was never punished as long as she told me the truth. Before I asked was always better than waiting until I asked.
SHe cut her own hair...she had to live with a stupid hair cut. She carved her name in her dresser, she had to wax it and try to fill in her marks.
If she didn't do her homework, she had to live with the consequence at school. If she forgot her lunch three days in one week, she went without lunch once or twice.
If she wouldn't get up in time for school, she walked in late and everybody looked at her, then she had to go get a late pass.
I did get angry and frustrated with her several times. Mostly over school. But, I'm not perfect, and I wanted her to know I expected more.
I was always supportive of her. But, I said "I'm sorry you are going through this, how are you going to handle it?" More times than I can count.
First and fourth grade were the only times she had bad teachers, and I went to bat for her each time. But, the rest of the years, if she came home crying about her mean teacher, I stopped her let her know I would listen, but that I wouldn't let her call the teacher mean, because we both knew it wasn't true.
I expect respect from her for the adults in her life. I did not teach her to be rude, or ever, ever, ever roll her eyes at an adult. That was not acceptable. If her dance teacher was giving up her time to teach a bunch of eight year olds how to dance to sugar shack, then by golly, my kid was going to treat her with respect. Any disrespect, and she was going home.
I said "Get in the car!" more than a few times too.
We walked out of grocery stores a few times.
I say what I mean, and If I don't mean it, I usually don't say it. So, she always knew "no" meant "no". I more often than not said "yes" anyway. It was just the two of us for a long time, so there were lots of yesses.