Re: S/o what discipline works in YOUR family???
First and foremost - if my kids are having a rough day its typically a sign they are tired so an early bedtime is in store. I usually try to look at the root cause of the behaviour before deciding punishment.
Dd1 does best with positive reinforcement. Things like time outs make her go ballistic - they are totally ineffective for her because they are so upsetting she can't see the point of the 'punishment'. A heart to heart conversation where we talk through her view point and the view point of the other person helps her the most.
Dd2 is STUBBORN. When she was littler time outs would work evetually but it would take over an hour every time to get her to stay in time out. So I never did time out unless I had plenty of time to finish it. She is not attatched to any toy enough to care if it spends months hidden away. She never makes any effort to earn them back. It was her that taught me to look at the source. No 'punishment' was really effective with her so I started looking at why she did stuff. Usually it is because she's exhausted or hungry. So a rough morning means she needs to lay down at rest time for awhile. Bad afternoon means early bedtime. Sometimes an apple slice goes a long ways towards changing her attitude because she's just hungry.
Ds hates having toys taken away from him. So the most effective thing is to take away what he is playing inappropriately with. Sometimes we just need to sit and have a snuggle because he's acting up from not getting enough attention. A quick snuggle stops the bad behaviour and makes the day continue on a good foot.