Out of the 25 kids in my sons class- I'd be irked if cupcakes were served at every birthday. To be honest. :/
He goes 3x a week. And no food treats are allowed. You may bring pencils or whatever but no food. To be honest 1/2 the kids are over weight, so I'm fine with this. And we limit sugar junk for our kids... and since no one was asking if i WAnTED my kid to have a cupcake- at 3pm.... I'd be really bothered.
We also have a strong healthy food initiative in Cali. So I really don't ever need to worry about cupcakes for birthdays.
On the crown thing- some do- some don't.
Next time maybe ASK what they do? Instead of assuming you could rearrange the day to fit your needs? At the center my kids go to (when daddy is deployed) they have very strict snack times and shift changes.
If it were me- I'd have spoken with the director of the preschool- prior. Kwim?
Sorry it was a bummer. But she probably didn't notice
BFing, CDing, all natural mama to three boys! Certified lactation Counselor