Re: Please help me keep going...
Ah I SO understand how you feel. It took 6 weeks for someone to tell me that my LO had a high pallet and I had been struggling with thrush since day 4 or 5. I had one doctor tell me that I would need nipple reconstruction surgery because they were so bad and he told me I had to stop nursing and would probably never be able to again (JERK). I had 3 LCs tell me he had a good latch but for some reason something was just not working! Unfortunately my nipples were so far gone and the thrush wasn't letting them heal that they just continued basically to disintegrate. LO was gaining weight fine so that wasn't a problem and I had so much milk. After going to see a few different doctors I had one tell me that if I wanted to continue nursing I needed to take a break. Originally it was only supposed to take 2 weeks but ended up taking 5 weeks of pumping and then I tried to put him back on the breast. At that point he wasn't really interested. By that point LO was about 2.5 3 months and we tried and tried but he just wasn't interested and my nipples were getting raw again because the skin was so new. It took almost 5 months to get rid of thrush and I have now been pumping exclusively for almost 6 months. I KNOW how annoying and painful it is to have had hopes to breastfeed and it not seeming to work out. For some reason it just seems like certain babies get it and others don't right away and at that point many mommas get bad information or don't have enough support. Good job for trying and trying. Keep seeing the LC or go to the LLL. In all honesty though if it doesn't seem to work out don't beat yourself up or feel like a failure. I was so emotionally drained and hurt that nursing didn't work especially considering I was one of those mom's who wanted to nurse for 2 years or so. When I decided to EP it was a relief in a way and a mourning time. It is definitely hard at first because you are basically attached to a pump all day and night. It DOES get better though. Unfortunately I didn't find out about a pumping bra until 2 months in which now I can't imagine pumping without. I have my hands free! Also, if you do end up pumping (which I REALLY hope nursing gets better and works out for you!!!) I would get the medela freestyle. I have the PISA which is really great however, now I wish I could walk around and do chores or be able to chase my little mover all around the house instead of being attached to my rocking chair and pump. Don't feel alone in this venture! SO many mom's I have come to understand have trouble with nursing and it is super hard especially as a first time mom to see your ideals and hopes kinda not work out with nursing. I realize now that although nursing is amazing for touch and closeness and bonding, working hard to pump milk and cuddling with my LO while feeding him is the next best thing! Anyways, not sure if I was any help..but I remember going on boards such as this when I was having troubles and it really helped me to hear other peoples stories etc. Good luck momma! You are doing a great job!