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Old 01-30-2013, 12:26 PM   #22
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wordbox
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Re: The involved dads...

I think being a good parent doesn't come easily or naturally for everyone. Fathers especially... and especially if the child is the result of a pregnancy that the mother participated in (i.e., not through adoption or surrogacy). I certainly felt a connection to our children while I was pregnant, and I think our hormones and instincts play into how we relate to and care for our children.

My husband is a wonderful father, but it has taken him some time to really get into his role as a dad.

That said, I also don't think men should be coddled or that parenting is just the mother's job. Men need to be pushed to be good dads, and it should be EXPECTED of them. They can make a conscious decision to be proactive, to do things with their kids, to be a good role model, etc. Loving kids is not enough, you need to do more than that. They need to feel it, they need time with their fathers, they need them to be a part of their lives.

I cannot stand it when someone refers to dads "babysitting." My husband agrees, his time with the kids is PARENTING. And now he is the dad out there that takes his kid places and rocks the baby, even though it took him some time to grow into this role. I had to push him, but he knew he needed to step up.

I think we should celebrate good parents in general, but we should also expect both parents to try hard and love hard and do the best they can. And stop expecting the mothers to do it all, and to judge them more harshly, and to stop using deadbeat dads as the standard to compare other fathers to.
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Last edited by wordbox; 01-30-2013 at 12:28 PM.
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