Re: Am I horrible for WANTING a repeat c/s?
I'm in a very similar situation as you, but my last experience wasn't NEARLY as unpleasant as yours. However, it was unpleasant enough to put me in a near panic attack by reliving the memories and at the thought of another pregnancy. I have 1 child now, but have always wanted 3 and I cry at the thought of ttc.
Just to briefly fill you in on what I experienced, I had a perfect pregnancy too until the end. I was almost 2 weeks late and had low fluids so I went in for induction. For 2 days they tried to ripen my cervix, but nothing worked and finally they just started the pictocin. Labor went great until I took an epidural then everything stopped and I didn't dialate any further than 7 cm and after nearly 24 hours the baby's heart rate was falling so they did a csection. I was not prepared at all for things to go that way, I felt helpless, completely out of control and I felt like my body was failing me. Between all of those feelings and the doctors constantly up my girl parts those three days were the WORST experience of my life.
I too am terrified to try a VBAC bc I don't want to go through all of that pain again just to end up on the operating table again. At the same time though, recovering from the csection was also horrible. I couldn't comfortably ride in a car until nearly 8 weeks postpartum and around 10 weeks I got sick and it brought my recovery back to about week 3 pain-wise. It's hard enough recovering from a surgery when you're able to just rest, but that's not possible with a newborn and it's a horrible feeling not wanting to pick up your LO bc of how much physical pain it can cause. I would not wish a csection on my worst enemy! I do feel though that the recovery was easier than those first 3 days in the hospital.
You are very strong just for considering another LO after an experience that makes mine sound like a walk in the park. No, you are not horrible for wanting a repeat c/s and you are definitely NOT alone.