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Old 02-08-2013, 08:29 AM   #42
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jenfostermom
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Re: February Chat Thread

Thanks for all the well wishes, we are really really enoying our little squishy. Here's the quick story - typing with one sleep-deprived hand while she naps on my chest, so forgive me if it doesn't make sense.

We were called last week Thursday for what we were told would be likely just a weekend placement (dad was reportedly likely to gain custody after court on Monday) of a newborn, drug affected baby girl. We obviously said a resounding YES! Then we waited all afternoon and evening on pins and needles to hear when we would be allowed to pick her up and heard nothing that night at all. Friday morning we got a phone call that she was scheduled for release that day, and furthermore dad wasn't interested. A couple of hours later, they called again saying she took a turn and wasn't "medically stable" for discharge and would likely be in the hospital for a couple of weeks. They didn't tell us why - we have been getting less and less info lately from the workers, saying that HIPAA law prevents us from knowing many things we have been told in the past - but from our knowledge of drug affected kiddos we figured she was having some withdrawals that they wanted to treat for and observe at the hospital. We asked if we could visit her while in the hospital and were told mom was allowed to visit and the workers didn't think it was necessary for a FP to go as well with biomom there.

Fast forward to this past Monday afternoon (only 3 days later), the placement worker called again saying that baby was doing well and scheduled to be released Tuesday or Wednesday. We again said yes to the placement (not sure why she thought we would have changed our minds). The SW called with the same info and I asked again about visiting her. The SW then said that biomom had actually not visited the baby at all since her release. So sad that this little one was there with nobody to snuggle her, I would have been there all weekend! They put my husband and I on the list to visit her and we both went a couple of hours later. The SW also said at that time that mom has TPR'd on all of her other kids (5 or 6, I heard both numbers) and they are all permanently placed with mom's sister, not sure if just guardianship or adoption, who has now said "enough is enough". There is so far no other family and dad has made it clear that he is unable to care for her. So, this is - for now anyhow - a long term, preadoptive placement.

She was released Tuesday. It's so surreal to pickup a baby that's not yours from the hospital. SO fun. Anyhow, we are enjoying her. We call her Bekkah (nothing like her given name, so I'm not violating confidentiality here) and are really enjoying our favorite newbie stage. The SW came on Wednesday for the first safety check and actually asked for the file if we would be the adoptive resource. I have been fostering long enough to be very careful trusting anything this soon, but it's promising that this one could be a forever baby. It will be interesting to hear if mom showed up for court (they were fairly certain she wouldn't) and if she gets visits.

I love the support of this group! Thanks for being excited with me!

(oh and please don't quote me here, I may reread and edit after a while when my head is clear if any of this is too private - thanks!)
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Beloved daughter of the King of Kings, married to DH for 15 years SAHM mom to DS 14, DS 12, DD 10, DD 8, DS 5, DS 4, DFD 2, and DFD 6 mos Hopeful to adopt both DFDs before the end of 2013!
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