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Old 02-09-2013, 09:27 PM   #30
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SewGreenBaby
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Amarillo, Texas
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Originally Posted by luvsviola
This little girl sounds exactly like my son. We are working with a psychologist. He is diagnosed ODD and RAD. This little girl sounds like she has ODD. They need to have her evaluated.

This is the sad but real reason that DS never goes on playdates. I cannot control his behavior and he hurts kids. We saw a therapist at first, but he was a social worker, and couldn't "fix" DS. Now we are with a psychologist. Things are better, but there is no magic pill. The only way you can fix the attention seeking behavior is to ignore it, which is hard when there are other kids involved. Hurting people and breaking things are attention seeking behaviors. Basically, kiddo is going to do anything in his power to get attention, even if it is negative attention. DS throws things, scratches people, hits, tears things up, you name it. For awhile, time out for him was strapped in a carseat in the middle of our living room because he couldn't even stay in time out. At that point, he starts screaming and makes himself throw up because he knows it gets attention. You can punish attention seekers til you are blue in the face and it won't change the behavior. They thrive on the drama. You have to ignore the heck out of the behaviors to extinguish it. But oh my goodness is it hard to do sometimes. The second they do something and you react, it becomes a part of their arsenal. You have to ignore so much stuff with them.

"Parenting the Defiant Child" by Kazdin is a good read. It helps parents to A) realize that sometimes things are beyond your control, and B) how to deal with defiant children. The sooner you start dealing with this stuff, the better. DS started in therapy at 2.5, and was diagnosed full out at 3.5.

Good luck mama!
Thread hijack, sorry! Your ds sounds very much like mine. He's almost 5yo. We've seen a few therapist and aren't getting anywhere. I think ignoring the behavior would help but what do you in situations that can't be ignored? Like getting out of bed after lights out, refusing to let me brush his teeth before school or running all over the yard instead of getting in the car? It's these situations that leave me feeling helpless and often times lead to yelling. Play dates are also a nightmare for us that always end with me carrying him out kicking and screaming.

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