02-09-2013, 10:57 PM
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ottawa, ON, formerly Vancouver, BC
Re: Please help with my 5-yr-old before I lose my mind
I hear you, and mine aren't close to that age yet!
Originally Posted by corinne76
thank you. I also do realize that her yelling at DS stems from the fact that I do yell as well, and I'm working on it.
I try my best to be patient with her. But like today for example she was drinking from my water bottle and her brother came to her and water. I told her "please give your brother water too" she kept drinking so he couldnt have and when she was done went to put it back on the counter. What?! hello?
and in the bathtub, they play in there for awhile and the water gets cold. I was draining the water and she she placed a toy over the drain. I removed it and told her its blocking it making it go down slowly. What does she do? Takes a DIFFERENT toy and inches it toward the drain when she thinks I'm not looking erh-maa-gawdddd!!!
*disclaimer: I have no idea if this tactic works for the child, I just know it helps me get validated/calm down
When things like that happen, and I'm cool-headed enough to recognize it - I try to explain EXACTLY what they are doing, and why it isn't acceptable.
Eg in your situation,
"Dearest Daughter, you are inching a toy towards the drain that I just asked you to keep clear. You are trying to do it sneakily. That is helpful, and it isn't good listening because I asked you nicely not to do that." I breathe through the whole thing, but it helps me remember that they are kids, and you can call out behavior that with adults in public we usually can't.
sometimes I'll end with something directive like," Let's be helpful instead and use the toy to push the water towards the drain."
Honestly, I have no idea if it actually helps, but with my 2.5 yr old, this tactic helps ME calm down. I think it just highlights to me (& her) what the problem actually is, and then I can realize that while it is driving me BATTY, it's not like she's doing crack cocaine or smashing up the family car.
A (usually) happy wife mama to my BOGO girls, DD1 July 2010 and DD2 Dec 2011.