Ok update 1: a couple of days we were doing better then my husband calls this morning:
She is obsessed with socks (his or mine, the long ones that go to the knee - we know this fact from before too). Last night she found a pair and demanded to get them on. They go all the way up like stockings for her. Satisfied she fell asleep. This morning he took them off to get dressed and she started a 1hr long scream fest. No breakfast, no shoes, no hat, no jacket, scream scream scream. He ignored it and attempted to give her choices but no luck. She only subsided by the time they made it to daycare - and he had to walk to it in the cold (got her mostly dressed by then).
She has this big person (used to be obsessed about her socks so we just left them on) socks now but she can't wear them all the time???
Ugghhh now she's hungry and at daycare - they do give them a snack but not a full breakfast.
We'll see how the pick up goes...
family of 3 plus a kitty. Hoping for a few more
down the road.