Re: I've had to say some strange things as a parent, but
Why are you licking the TV?
Why are you trying to color your spit? (He spit on his coloring page, then was dragging it around with the crayon.)
Get your finger out of his belly button. (Said to my youngest as he prodded my husband's navel. My husband was sleeping, BTW.)
Oh look, Alex is beat-boxing into a toilet brush. (Toy toilet brush)