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Old 03-02-2013, 09:51 AM   #5
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Re: Another Gender Disappointment Thread

This is a 4th boy for us, and I actually felt relief, I think -- I am so happy to have another boy. My current "LO" if you can call him that is 7. I didn't think we would ever have another baby, and I really longed for one, for all that time. So I am thrilled we get this opportunity. In a way, too, I had a feeling if we hada girl, it would be so much easier for my boys to look back and call her spoiled and be resentful -- she would need all new toys, clothes, own room, etc.

But this is not about me. I think it is perfectly realistic to mourn the loss of the son who is not there, not blame or feel sad about the girl that is, if that makes sense -- one doesn't negate the other. You would have loved to have a son, he didn't come, you are getting a girl. It kind of reminds me of when a mama loses a twin in utero -- you are sad because one is missing, but you feel guilty being sad because one is still there, thriving.

I agree, give yourself some time. It is perfectly normal to feel sad and loss over not having a son. It doesn't have to mean anything about the sweet little baby girl growing inside of you. <3
Mama of 4 boys ages 13, 11, 7, and homebirth baby born 4-6-13
"No more sacred word exists in secular or holy writ than that of mother." Ezra Taft Benson
doula, childbirth educator, breastfeeding counselor
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