Update: I am feeling much more balanced and clear headed today. I'd like to blame it on postpartum hormones but sometimes I think it's just plain old frustration.
The problem is low milk transfer.
DD from midnight to midnight has taken in 12.66 ounces.
Her first feed was at 6 a.m. so if I go from 6 a.m. to 6 a.m. the total will be higher but not enough obviously.
Her first morning feed was fantastic, I was engorged and she took in 5.3 ounces
, she lay there all happy and content and I was feeling like an idiot first time mom and then it just went downhill as the day progressed. Next feed was 1.6 oz, then .77 oz, then .6 oz, then a 2 ouncer etc. etc.
I've been supplementing her from my freezer stash and what I've been able to pump daily (around 4 ounces). I am down to 30 ounces in the freezer and I don't know any lactating mothers to get donor milk from. I bought some Similac advantage because I know in a few days when the freezer stash is gone she'll need supplementing and I don't have enough milk to take care of her.
I am not going to cold turkey quit breast feeding, I do have milk and it's beneficial to DD. I don't have the desire nor the ability to EP the necessary 10-12/day to maintain a supply although I am willing and able to sustain pumping 4-6 times per day and comfort nurse DD until my milk inevitably goes away.
I am toying with the idea of Domperidone to boost my supply (It would cost me as much in copays to see my PCP for a reglan script as to buy 1 month of Domperidone) so I can stash as much milk as possible in the least amount of time (I'd be willing to put my life on hold and pump like a mad woman for 2 weeks or so to get a decent freezer stash just not long term).
Thanks for sharing.
You are right that it definitely helps to sleep on it. This thread has captured my labile emotions quite well.
One minute I am ready to stop and the next I am plotting ways to go just a bit longer
... I admire you for your dedication, it is a huge commitment!