Re: Thoughts on loveys?
I think it might be counterproductive to add a lovey to the mix. The advantage to your boobs is that you can't lose them. Soothing with a lovey isn't really self-soothing anyway. You also risk that she wont accept the lovey, or won't stick to just one thing over time. DD (3) has never been able to choose just one item, so we spend a week dragging a stuffed dog around, a few days with a blankie, a day or two with a dollar-store turtle...but god forbid she lose any of them anywhere - meltdown!!
I would look into some behavioral/emotional strategies and talk to her about her feelings. Also look for children's books on self-soothing, not just parenting books. A good childrens' librarian will be able to help you find some. If you do end up getting her interested in a lovey, definitely grab a copy of Knuffle Bunny by Mo Willems.
Wife to my best friend
DD1 (4/15/10) and