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Old 02-14-2013, 07:57 PM   #32
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mmeneely
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Re: Home Birth, husband not supportive

Quote:
Originally Posted by raisingcropsandbabies View Post
I can't tell you what to do. Personally, I feel the decision should be made in unity. You two are one now and I don't think it'd be fair to throw around the "my body, my choice" card because it's not true. Also, this involves both of your's baby. (not saying you throw around that card, btw. just generally talking). I also would cringe if he took this situation as the first of potentially many, when his word isn't respected or valued because the Mama Bear comes out and this is YOUR baby cub and not his. Some men are really sensitive about that.

In the event of needing a transfer or having a complication (which is UNlikely) it'd be a lot to ask your DH to work through those feelings of "Well, I didn't even want you to do this in the first place" and so on while seeing his wife and/or baby have some trouble. We had some trouble with ours and I'm thankful I didn't put my DH in that place as he was also supportive of our homebirth.

Has he talked with the midwife about specific concerns he has? That might help if he knows how she is prepared for those complications or how she knows when to transfer. My DH during the beginning of my first pregnancy had concerns about the birth at home and he went with me to the prenatal and we discussed his concerns with the midwife. She eased his mind and he soon agreed with our decision to have a homebirth.

It is a vulnerable time for our men. Esp. when they are designed to want to protect... the pregnancy, the baby growing, etc. is just not in their control. I feel like it's an important time to be sensitive to that.

Just my two cents. Good luck on making your decision!

This was so respectfully said. You clearly have a mindful relationship and I agree whole-heartedlynwith.

** could you agree to have the baby in the hospital, delivered by the midwife and OB? Is there a Birthing Center nearby? He does have equal say.
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