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Old 07-05-2006, 12:45 PM   #6
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GrowingUpMad
If everyone was the same the world would be a VERY boring place.
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Michigan
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Re: Bonding more with one child?

I have a much stronger bond with my son than my dd, always have. I feel so guilty but I can't force that bond with her. My son and I only had each other for a long time (single teen parent) and he was just so mellow and a mamas boy. We did everything together and he loved every minute of it. If I needed to study he'd sit for hours and play (not typical for a 15 month old), if I wanted to shop he'd sit in the stroller and look at everything, we went to the park and out to lunch with no fuss. He's now 11 1/2 and we still have a tight bond, he picks to go with me to the fabric store over going to the hardware store with dad. With dd she has been tempermental from the beginning, always testing me and alwyas miserable. I can't shop with her, if I am tired that just means more time for her to destroy, if I get her something special she complains that it's not what she wanted. She wants her daddy because he gives in and wants me to go away because I keep her in her place. Of course when she is tired, sick or hungry I am all she wants. I was crying last week because I feel like ds and I are so close and dd and I are so far apart. Seriously I feel closer to Lilly (the unborn baby) than Madi sometimes. My mother and I had the same "tension" growing up and now we see each other alot but are still not as close as mother and daughter should be, I do not want my daughter and I to be that way. I have been trying my hardest to have "Madison Days" and that seems to be going well. We do everything she wants and I focus on her only (we do this when ds is at his dads). We took her on a date over the weekend to a nice restaurant where kids are not normally at (warned her for about 1 1/2 that she must behave or we will be asked to leave) then took her to a nice little pastry shop for dessert. We even rode the train (aka monorail) and she behaved the entire time, it was wonderful. Of course the next day was back to routine and she was horrible because all the focus wasn't on her but hey a little at a time.

Now that I went on and on... I think it's normal to have different bonds with your children as all children are different. Not all personalities bond the same way but I do believe as parents it's our job to try to do those things we noramlly wouldn't it it means spending more quality and individual time with our children.
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Dawn, proud mama to Finn (11/23/10), Sully (2), Lilly J (4) Madison (8) and Alex (15). Head over heels in love with my hubby Jim
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