Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

[mandabug2]

I am in a local multiples group and all the ladies are always talking about their baby boy circumcision experiences, and sometimes I feel like if I were to tell them mine weren't I would be looked at like a freak. Now on one hand I really don't care what other people think, on the other I kinda do . I guess the other thing that scares me is; are my boys going to be the odd ones out? What happens in JH and HS when they have to shower after gym?

I really feel like I made the right decision for my boys...I just hope they feel that way too!

[KaleidoscopeEyes]

nope. im an extremely vocal intactivist. if someone thinks that being intact is wrong or gross they dont deserve my respect and i wouldnt give two craps what they thought anyway.

i think the circ rate is pretty much half and half these days, so chances are our boys being born now wont be the odd man out anyway. DH is intact and he's never felt judged or was never teased for being intact.

[KelseyH]

Originally Posted by mandabug2 I am in a local multiples group and all the ladies are always talking about their baby boy circumcision experiences, and sometimes I feel like if I were to tell them mine weren't I would be looked at like a freak. Now on one hand I really don't care what other people think, on the other I kinda do . I guess the other thing that scares me is; are my boys going to be the odd ones out? What happens in JH and HS when they have to shower after gym? I really feel like I made the right decision for my boys...I just hope they feel that way too!

If someone looked at me like a freak because I chose not to mutilate my son, I probably wouldn't go out of my way to spend time with them. So that part wouldn't bother me.

People around here are more surprised than grossed out or anything else, because circumcision is SOP. Anyone I've talked to in depth about it actually seems genuinely interested when I explain why, cite statistics, etc. If a circumcision "experience" conversation comes up, my contribution is just something along the lines of "I didn't circ DS because I couldn't bear to be responsible for him losing part of his body and going through intense pain for a cosmetic procedure." Most of the time the topic gets dropped. Haha

They won't be the odd ones out, though. Circumcision is becoming less and less common. Don't worry, you did the right thing. and if they protest, you can always remind them that they can get it done later - and HOW it has to be done. I think my brother only complained once, before our mother explained and he realized what had to happen for him to "look like the other guys".

Originally Posted by KaleidoscopeEyes nope. im an extremely vocal intactivist. if someone thinks that being intact is wrong or gross they dont deserve my respect and i wouldnt give two craps what they thought anyway.

Totally agree.

[Terra]

Originally Posted by KelseyH If someone looked at me like a freak because I chose not to mutilate my son, I probably wouldn't go out of my way to spend time with them. So that part wouldn't bother me. People around here are more surprised than grossed out or anything else, because circumcision is SOP. Anyone I've talked to in depth about it actually seems genuinely interested when I explain why, cite statistics, etc. If a circumcision "experience" conversation comes up, my contribution is just something along the lines of "I didn't circ DS because I couldn't bear to be responsible for him losing part of his body and going through intense pain for a cosmetic procedure." Most of the time the topic gets dropped. Haha They won't be the odd ones out, though. Circumcision is becoming less and less common. Don't worry, you did the right thing. and if they protest, you can always remind them that they can get it done later - and HOW it has to be done. I think my brother only complained once, before our mother explained and he realized what had to happen for him to "look like the other guys". Totally agree.

I'm pretty sure with your attitude and view that people mutilate their child, they wouldn't want to spend time with you as well. No wonder people are turned off by activists who are rude.

[Shaunam]

Originally Posted by Terra I'm pretty sure with your attitude and view that people mutilate their child, they wouldn't want to spend time with you as well. No wonder people are turned off by activists who are rude.

Just because she holds that opinion doesn't mean she chooses to use those words when talking to others. Her description of how she deals with it certainly implies she educates in a respectful manner. I think it's mutilation too, but I don't use that word when I educate. But when it comes down to it, if people say nasty things about our kids normal penises, they get what's coming to them. If the reality makes them feel guilty, maybe they should look at themselves and not the person whose opinion made them think.

I've NEVER brought up circ first. It's always other people who bring it up. So if they have the balls to bring it up, considering it's not really any of their business, they should be ready to hear opinions they don't like. Some people believe it's mutilation. I've heard WAY worse coming from the pro-circ crowd. My own sister told me I was "sick" for not circ'ing.

[KelseyH]

Originally Posted by Shaunam Originally Posted by Terra I'm pretty sure with your attitude and view that people mutilate their child, they wouldn't want to spend time with you as well. No wonder people are turned off by activists who are rude. Just because she holds that opinion doesn't mean she chooses to use those words when talking to others. Her description of how she deals with it certainly implies she educates in a respectful manner. I think it's mutilation too, but I don't use that word when I educate. But when it comes down to it, if people say nasty things about our kids normal penises, they get what's coming to them. If the reality makes them feel guilty, maybe they should look at themselves and not the person whose opinion made them think. I've NEVER brought up circ first. It's always other people who bring it up. So if they have the balls to bring it up, considering it's not really any of their business, they should be ready to hear opinions they don't like. Some people believe it's mutilation. I've heard WAY worse coming from the pro-circ crowd. My own sister told me I was "sick" for not circ'ing.

Thanks Shaunam! I thought that earlier reply was pretty rude.

The definition of mutilate is to injure by depriving of or harming a part, so it's a technically accurate description for circumcision. I've never used that word in a conversation with others - as a matter of fact, I already quoted what I DO say in circumstances where the conversation is brought up, and I think it's pretty mild TBH.

I also don't consider myself an "activist" in the least, since I never make mention of it unless someone else brings it up. Also, no one has ever been noticeably "turned off" by what I have to say regarding circumcision.

[linz2491]

Originally Posted by Terra I'm pretty sure with your attitude and view that people mutilate their child, they wouldn't want to spend time with you as well. No wonder people are turned off by activists who are rude.

Reverse circumcising a baby girl instead of a baby boy and that is how disgusted intactivists feel. would you consider circumcising (not 3rd/4th degree) a girl of any degree genital mutilation?

[Terra]

Originally Posted by linz2491 Reverse circumcising a baby girl instead of a baby boy and that is how disgusted intactivists feel. would you consider circumcising (not 3rd/4th degree) a girl of any degree genital mutilation?

I think it goes back to what Kilki said in the other s/o post. To be honest, I just don't care either way. I like that my second son is intact, but my first son is not but it doesn't really bother me anymore. I'm not going to tell someone either IRL or online that they have mutilated or abused their child. If it were a socially acceptable thing, I don't know. This is just not a battle ground issue for me anymore.

[s@hmommy]

Originally Posted by linz2491 Reverse circumcising a baby girl instead of a baby boy and that is how disgusted intactivists feel. would you consider circumcising (not 3rd/4th degree) a girl of any degree genital mutilation?

I am sorry but I have to comment on this. This is an incredibly ridiculous argument and I will guarantee you aren't going to change many peoples mind by using it. This thread is full of judgement for those that choose to circ, yet you (general) feel judged?

[ajane]

Not at all. Circumcision doesn't come up in my circle of friends, mostly b/c everyone has girls and they are all older, lol. But, I never hide Will's penis b/c I'm afraid of what other people might think when they see he is intact. At our country club pool I change him out in the open and at our gym family locker area's I change him out in the open. I actually would welcome someone to comment on it.

He goes to preschool and has his diaper changed there, we have a rotation of at least 5 baby sitters, and sometimes if my friends watch him they might have to change him.

If anyone asks then I tell them we had no reason to circ him and wanted to leave him intact.