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Old 11-20-2012, 10:15 PM   #1
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Do you get much adult interaction?

Particularly those who are SAHMs. How much adult interaction, other than your SO, do you get?

We moved here in March, 2011, and we have only met a handful of people. We know and are friendly with one set of neighbors, but I have no friends. While we were in our foster parent training class we met a couple that we really got along with and we sat next to them the entire 13 weeks, but we never got together after the classes ended. My husband happened to run into the wife at the grocery store last week, and they talked about getting together. She texted me later that evening, and we set up a date to go over to their house for dinner tonight.

We went over there, and I had SUCH a good time. I could really see her being a good friend, which stinks b/c we are looking to move. *pout* Anyway, it was SO nice have adult conversation outside of my DH. We have a lot in common with them, but at the same time we are different enough that we find each other interesting so conversation flows really well. It has been a long time, even before we moved here, that we have had that. We already have plans to get together again next week, and I can't wait. lol

I'm excited that I may finally have a friend here, but at the same time I'm sad b/c I know we will be moving. She is a SAHM like me, and she doesn't fit in well just like I don't (small towns, locals aren't keen on new people, you need to have the right last name to fit in, iykwim), so we have kind of a connection there. We both get really lonely during the day. She is home with a 5 month old, I'm home with a 13 year old. I'm not good at making friends to begin with, b/c I'm horribly shy, but it will be nice to have a friend at least until we move.
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Old 11-20-2012, 10:23 PM   #2
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Re: Do you get much adult interaction?

I go to a weekly bible study. I get together with my best friend a couple times a month. You really have to put yourself out there to make friends. It's like everyone is always waiting for someone else to make a move. When we lived in Thailand, I had tons of friends. When everybody is living overseas, we are all in the same boat so to speak. I had lunches with friends every week, a bible study every week, get together with friends on weekends.

I need adult interaction besides my husband. Otherwise I tend to shop too much out of boredom and loneliness. Now that we are back home, I don't have the social life I did overseas. I do the weekly bible study and get together with my best friend but my mom has been sick with leukemia and I don't have time right now to invest in new friendships.
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Old 11-20-2012, 10:28 PM   #3
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Re: Do you get much adult interaction?

I am a full time nanny, 8-6pm M-F ad some Saturday's. I do NOT get enough adult interaction. I am home with a 7 mOnth old. She doesn't go that long inbetween naps so it's hard to get out of the house. Sometimes I feel like I HAVe to get out of the house and even if it's just to the grocery store it feels so nice to talk to adults! We try to have playdates but that doesn't always work. Its hard to leave when I know she is going to be sleepy in less than an hour.
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Old 11-20-2012, 10:31 PM   #4
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Re: Do you get much adult interaction?

I don't have the option to shop, b/c we only have one car and my DH uses it to go to work. I only leave the house once a week when we do our weekly grocery shopping. I never have alone time, unless I'm up alone late at night. I just don't have the opportunity to meet people here, so it is hard to make friends, unless I want to approach a complete stranger at the grocery store or something (which is completely out of my realm to do, b/c of my social anxiety). One of the biggest reasons why I don't like living here. At least when we lived in a city, I was able to work so I could make friends and get adult interaction that way. Just isn't possible here.

This gal asked me if I wanted to join a bible study, and I said I would love to. Hopefully I will get to meet other ladies, at least for the time being.
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After 12 years of TTC #2, multiple miscarriages, failed infertility treatments, and two failed (not on our end) attempts at becoming foster/adopt parents in two states...we gave up. I stick around for the awesome conversation.
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Old 11-20-2012, 10:47 PM   #5
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Re: Do you get much adult interaction?

I'm a sahd of three. I'm pretty shy,and my isolation iscompounded by being a man in a world (sahp, homeschooling) dominated by women. None of the women at the playground/storytime speak to me, but my wife will take the kids to the same Playground/storytime, and she comes full of stories from the other adults at the playground. My non-spousal adult interaction? Pretty much none at this point and its lousy. The moms at the hs co-op say hi, but that's it. The fact is, at this point ive been home for almost seven years and I have more in common with the moms at the playground than most men I know, but the moms don't want to be friends. And to be honest id rather have some guy friends, but making friends in your 30's is hard enough, without the added piece of not moving in a world inhabited by many men.
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Old 11-20-2012, 10:59 PM   #6
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Re: Do you get much adult interaction?

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Originally Posted by keysersoze View Post
I'm a sahd of three. I'm pretty shy,and my isolation iscompounded by being a man in a world (sahp, homeschooling) dominated by women. None of the women at the playground/storytime speak to me, but my wife will take the kids to the same Playground/storytime, and she comes full of stories from the other adults at the playground. My non-spousal adult interaction? Pretty much none at this point and its lousy. The moms at the hs co-op say hi, but that's it. The fact is, at this point ive been home for almost seven years and I have more in common with the moms at the playground than most men I know, but the moms don't want to be friends. And to be honest id rather have some guy friends, but making friends in your 30's is hard enough, without the added piece of not moving in a world inhabited by many men.
That is rough. I have to say I have never considered this issue when it came to sahd. When I see them I will have to make more of an effort to interact with them.
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Old 11-20-2012, 11:37 PM   #7
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Re: Do you get much adult interaction?

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Originally Posted by keysersoze View Post
I'm a sahd of three. I'm pretty shy,and my isolation iscompounded by being a man in a world (sahp, homeschooling) dominated by women. None of the women at the playground/storytime speak to me, but my wife will take the kids to the same Playground/storytime, and she comes full of stories from the other adults at the playground. My non-spousal adult interaction? Pretty much none at this point and its lousy. The moms at the hs co-op say hi, but that's it. The fact is, at this point ive been home for almost seven years and I have more in common with the moms at the playground than most men I know, but the moms don't want to be friends. And to be honest id rather have some guy friends, but making friends in your 30's is hard enough, without the added piece of not moving in a world inhabited by many men.
I hope you can maybe find a SAHD's group, maybe through Craigslist. I agree that it's hard to meet people; most of my friends are people that I either went to school with or worked with. Since I've become a SAHM/WAHM I have not met any new friends IRL, although I have met acquaintances.
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Old 11-21-2012, 01:08 AM   #8
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Re: Do you get much adult interaction?

Quote:
Originally Posted by keysersoze View Post
I'm a sahd of three. I'm pretty shy,and my isolation iscompounded by being a man in a world (sahp, homeschooling) dominated by women. None of the women at the playground/storytime speak to me, but my wife will take the kids to the same Playground/storytime, and she comes full of stories from the other adults at the playground. My non-spousal adult interaction? Pretty much none at this point and its lousy. The moms at the hs co-op say hi, but that's it. The fact is, at this point ive been home for almost seven years and I have more in common with the moms at the playground than most men I know, but the moms don't want to be friends. And to be honest id rather have some guy friends, but making friends in your 30's is hard enough, without the added piece of not moving in a world inhabited by many men.
I organize my play group with a stay at home dad, your not alone

I am super isolated where I am. Overseas in a non native speaking country. Germans, I love them dont get me wrong, are cold people. They dont do small chat they make friends through networks not randomly. I am like carrie here, no one likes outsiders.
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Old 11-20-2012, 10:32 PM   #9
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Re: Do you get much adult interaction?

I was a SAHM for 3.5 years. In that time, I didn't get much. But admittedly I'm a weird duck. Groups like MOPS and such just were not for me. I went back to work and finally got the interaction that sustained me and still does. I always found that I make friends much easier through work than in groups. So weird I know.
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Old 11-20-2012, 10:34 PM   #10
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Re: Do you get much adult interaction?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Terra View Post
I was a SAHM for 3.5 years. In that time, I didn't get much. But admittedly I'm a weird duck. Groups like MOPS and such just were not for me. I went back to work and finally got the interaction that sustained me and still does. I always found that I make friends much easier through work than in groups. So weird I know.
Same here, I make friends better at work. All of my past friends have been from a job. What makes it hard, is that my DS is too old for groups like MOPS or things like that.
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After 12 years of TTC #2, multiple miscarriages, failed infertility treatments, and two failed (not on our end) attempts at becoming foster/adopt parents in two states...we gave up. I stick around for the awesome conversation.
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