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Old 11-21-2012, 12:26 PM   #1
frogerella
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Preparing a sibling

So this will be child (daughter) number 2 for us. Our first daughter, Bella, will almost be 6 when this baby is born. She is super excited and wants to participate in all aspects of the baby, including the birth -lol.

My mother will be here when the baby comes and her only job is to be Bella's playmate (they have a close relationship). My MIL will come shortly after the baby arrives to help me. Crazy I know, but my mother is like having another child in the house and my MIL is like having a personal assistant who takes care of everything for you.

While Bella is excited, I'm realistic that going from being an only to a sibling won't be cakewalk I've had conversations with her about how she'll have to share mommy and daddy, but if she needs us alone she just has to tell us and we'll make arrangements. I explained that our love for her won't decrease that it just grows more to share with the baby. And I have a gift planned from her new baby sister, which will be a handmade baby doll and baby stroller. Which are things that are on her wishlist.

So the question for ya'll is what else I should do to make sure that my daughter continues to have a positive experience with the new baby and to minimize problems?
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Old 12-12-2012, 09:14 AM   #2
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I am making sure to bring pics of dd to the hospital to put in with baby so that when dd comes she will see that she is being thought of, as well as her gift from baby sister.
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Old 12-12-2012, 10:42 AM   #3
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Re: Preparing a sibling

My ds was almost 6 when my dd was born and it was great for him to be the big helper. He adored his sister from the beginning and is extremely protective. We also made a big deal about all the big kid stuff he got to do that baby didn't get to do.
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Old 12-29-2012, 08:23 PM   #4
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Re: Preparing a sibling

I'm really nervous about this. I'm due in 2 weeks and have a 19 month old now. He talks about the baby now but he is very attached to me and I don't know how he is gonna handle the adjustment. Right now it is just me and him during the day and he is very content. How do I bring her in while keeping him content?
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Old 12-30-2012, 11:11 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by Fryedaddy View Post
I'm really nervous about this. I'm due in 2 weeks and have a 19 month old now. He talks about the baby now but he is very attached to me and I don't know how he is gonna handle the adjustment. Right now it is just me and him during the day and he is very content. How do I bring her in while keeping him content?
My first was 18 months when #2 came along. It was hard for me to balance everyone's needs, but the good news is that neither of them remember being an only child. If he is content now, he will likely remain so. Mine was happy with a handful of cheerios on the coffee table and some blocks and the occasional video while I nursed the newbie. He learned patience and gentleness. I didn't make a big deal out of him not being the only child anymore, we just were very matter of fact about the baby joining our family and that's just how families worked.
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Old 12-31-2012, 05:48 AM   #6
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Re: Preparing a sibling

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Originally Posted by Belle View Post
My first was 18 months when #2 came along. It was hard for me to balance everyone's needs, but the good news is that neither of them remember being an only child. If he is content now, he will likely remain so. Mine was happy with a handful of cheerios on the coffee table and some blocks and the occasional video while I nursed the newbie. He learned patience and gentleness. I didn't make a big deal out of him not being the only child anymore, we just were very matter of fact about the baby joining our family and that's just how families worked.
This - there is a golden age when they don't remember being an "only" and the transition only takes a wee bit of time. 18 months and 6 years is a big difference. I have 3- and 6-year-olds with a new one any time now, and I am least worried about my 6-year-old. He gets the "mom needs quiet time" idea, and I anticipate that he will be the biggest help, as he is already a great helper. We homeschool too so I always have him with me, which I think helps.

OP - I think you have done as much as you can, just remember to be flexible and make sure you have one-on-one time with your DD after the baby comes. Even if it is 10-15 minutes of "snuggle and chat" time in the evening while your DH bathes or rocks the newbie.
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Old 01-22-2013, 02:01 PM   #7
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Re: Preparing a sibling

This is #3 for us and I honestly don't think you can prepare your child anymore than you can prepare yourself. By all means talk about the baby, etc but I would expect there to be an adjustment period for everyone (even if the older child is just dealing with you being tired ).
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