Diaper Swappers

Kristi26 · 12-04-2012, 10:26 AM

I came here looking for the December thread to give an update but there wasn't one yet! So I thought I'd start one.

Does everyone remember that Gwen's BM was pregnant again and that she had her baby by emergency c-section last month, 7-8 weeks early? She and the BF talked to children and youth today. They have no chance of being allowed to keep him. They were told to make a plan asap or Children and youth would find a family for him. Part of me feels bad for them, the rest of me knows they aren't in any position to be caring for a newborn at this point. They have 5 people living in a tiny motel room (still); that's no place for a newborn. So they are now trying to figure out who will take the baby. I know they still want us to take him, but DH is NOT interested. He said it would be stupid of us to get involved again. And I'm sure he's right, it's just hard to watch my daughter's brother be taken away and there isn't anything I can do to help.

Mama2ManyBoyz · 12-04-2012, 11:11 AM

If you could go straight adoption or foster to adopt...why not? There is someone there to force her hand, she can't really string you along anymore. Sorry I don't remember much of the story, but seems like now might be a good time to step in if you're looking to adopt???

Mama2ManyBoyz · 12-04-2012, 11:17 AM

Sorry...I hope that didn't come off wrong, just trying to understand the situation better.

sunnymommy · 12-04-2012, 03:38 PM

Maybe it's just that there is no chance to keep him right now but they will be allowed to attempt refunification? That would be a mess to get involved in. Or are they going to terminate rights no matter what?

~*~Sunflower~*~ · 12-04-2012, 06:46 PM

(((KRISTI))) What a hard situation!!!

We were approved for foster/adopt. Jumping every time the phone rings & shop-shop-shopping for baby stuff like a crazy woman! While I am happy that things aren't so dire that we have had a phone call yet, I sure would like a babe to cuddle & shop for by Christmas! LOL!

(For those that don't know, we fostered in the past, so we have a little bit of experience.

)

Kimmyann · 12-04-2012, 08:31 PM

Kristi what a hard situation to be in. I can empathize with both you and your husband. Maybe it's time to just cut off all contact with your late daughters birthmom. Who is to say that she won't be in the same exact position in a years time as well.

Kristi26 · 12-05-2012, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mama2ManyBoyz

If you could go straight adoption or foster to adopt...why not? There is someone there to force her hand, she can't really string you along anymore. Sorry I don't remember much of the story, but seems like now might be a good time to step in if you're looking to adopt???

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mama2ManyBoyz

Sorry...I hope that didn't come off wrong, just trying to understand the situation better.

DH says that getting involved with them would be a nightmare that would haunt us for the rest of our lives. If we took their son, they would always be trying to be involved in everything we did with him. They would want to have him the entire morning at church. They would continue to act like they are his parents (his only parents) instead of making it a joint thing or a birthmom and birthdad thing. They would talk badly about us behind our backs. They would fight the system the entire way through the adoption process (we've watched them do it before with another son).

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunnymommy

Maybe it's just that there is no chance to keep him right now but they will be allowed to attempt refunification? That would be a mess to get involved in. Or are they going to terminate rights no matter what?

From what I understand, they are going straight to termination. They have no chance.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~*~Sunflower~*~

(((KRISTI))) What a hard situation!!!

We were approved for foster/adopt. Jumping every time the phone rings & shop-shop-shopping for baby stuff like a crazy woman! While I am happy that things aren't so dire that we have had a phone call yet, I sure would like a babe to cuddle & shop for by Christmas! LOL!

(For those that don't know, we fostered in the past, so we have a little bit of experience.

)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kimmyann

Kristi what a hard situation to be in. I can empathize with both you and your husband. Maybe it's time to just cut off all contact with your late daughters birthmom. Who is to say that she won't be in the same exact position in a years time as well.

We actually expect the bolded to happen within a few months of losing the current baby. It's her track record. But children and youth isn't giving her any more chances, so she'll just lose that one too. If we took JJ (baby's initials), then they'd expect us to take every single one after that too. Who knows how many she can have before the stress of pregnancy on her diabetic, epileptic body kills her?

So as much as I WANT to say yes, because I adore babies and I want another one and I don't want to have to go through Gwen's first birthday without a baby, DH is right. It would be a haunting nightmare for life and their influence on his life if he were with us would be too great. We love that boy and want to see the cycle they're all in broken with him. It's just so sad and so hard to do nothing.

FindingMercy · 12-05-2012, 07:46 AM

Happy December ladies! Life is cray-cray around here. We won't finalize until next month (boo!), but we have our last post placement supervision visit next week (yay!). Abraham is doing great. He's on reflux meds now which seem to be helping him gain weight. Little peanut isn't even 14 lbs. yet at 5.5 months.

Here he is with his cousin.

I love his skin color up against this diaper.

ivparker · 12-05-2012, 09:09 AM

Well, the twins are going home on Monday. It is going to be so weird not having them around. They are already part of our family. Part of me is in denial and not really want to admit that they are leaving. This was our first placement so I've never experienced this before.

FindingMercy · 12-05-2012, 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ivparker

Well, the twins are going home on Monday. It is going to be so weird not having them around. They are already part of our family. Part of me is in denial and not really want to admit that they are leaving. This was our first placement so I've never experienced this before.

I'm sure it's a huge mix of emotions. Happy for the bios and the kids, but sad to see them go. Do you feel like the bios will be able to be successful?

12-04-2012, 10:26 AM	#1
Kristi26 Registered Users Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 2,288 Ratings: 23 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	DECEMBER 2012 CHAT THREAD I came here looking for the December thread to give an update but there wasn't one yet! So I thought I'd start one. Does everyone remember that Gwen's BM was pregnant again and that she had her baby by emergency c-section last month, 7-8 weeks early? She and the BF talked to children and youth today. They have no chance of being allowed to keep him. They were told to make a plan asap or Children and youth would find a family for him. Part of me feels bad for them, the rest of me knows they aren't in any position to be caring for a newborn at this point. They have 5 people living in a tiny motel room (still); that's no place for a newborn. So they are now trying to figure out who will take the baby. I know they still want us to take him, but DH is NOT interested. He said it would be stupid of us to get involved again. And I'm sure he's right, it's just hard to watch my daughter's brother be taken away and there isn't anything I can do to help. __________________ -Kristi,wife(5/02), , HSing, CDing,SAHM to Andrew(1/00), Lukas(2/03),Lily (1/06),and Ian (5/09) !Sweet Gwen, stillborn, 12/26/11, angel baby 7/08 Free History plans and more here: http://themommywriter.blogspot.com/

12-04-2012, 11:11 AM	#2
Mama2ManyBoyz Registered Users Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 1,367 Ratings: 9 Feedback: 100%	Re: DECEMBER 2012 CHAT THREAD If you could go straight adoption or foster to adopt...why not? There is someone there to force her hand, she can't really string you along anymore. Sorry I don't remember much of the story, but seems like now might be a good time to step in if you're looking to adopt??? __________________ Thrifty, homeschooling Mama to 5 , 12 yr old K 7 yr old E 2 yr old B , our newest lil' man 1 yr old H Foster mom to our baby girl 5 yr old D. Forever missing our prior placements J, M, L, & L

12-04-2012, 11:17 AM	#3
Mama2ManyBoyz Registered Users Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 1,367 Ratings: 9 Feedback: 100%	Re: DECEMBER 2012 CHAT THREAD Sorry...I hope that didn't come off wrong, just trying to understand the situation better. __________________ Thrifty, homeschooling Mama to 5 , 12 yr old K 7 yr old E 2 yr old B , our newest lil' man 1 yr old H Foster mom to our baby girl 5 yr old D. Forever missing our prior placements J, M, L, & L

12-04-2012, 03:38 PM	#4
sunnymommy Registered Users Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Omaha, NE Posts: 1,556 Ratings: 29 Feedback: 100%	Re: DECEMBER 2012 CHAT THREAD Maybe it's just that there is no chance to keep him right now but they will be allowed to attempt refunification? That would be a mess to get involved in. Or are they going to terminate rights no matter what?

12-04-2012, 06:46 PM	#5
~~Sunflower~~ Registered Users Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: California Posts: 2,157 Ratings: 122 Feedback: 100%	Re: DECEMBER 2012 CHAT THREAD (((KRISTI))) What a hard situation!!! We were approved for foster/adopt. Jumping every time the phone rings & shop-shop-shopping for baby stuff like a crazy woman! While I am happy that things aren't so dire that we have had a phone call yet, I sure would like a babe to cuddle & shop for by Christmas! LOL! (For those that don't know, we fostered in the past, so we have a little bit of experience. ) __________________ Homeschooling mother of 6.