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Old 01-30-2013, 06:48 AM   #1
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Desperate for help! (Siblings/listening issues.)

Hi ladies! I'm in need of some serious help here! I've got two boys, ages 4 and 5 (6 in march) and they are constantly fighting. I know part of it is normal but we seriously can't go 30 seconds without some sort of infraction. I feel like I spend all my time being their referee. How can I encourage them to get along better? They use hurtful words, hit, kick, pinch, argue back and forth. It's insane.

And one other serious issue we have, mostly with the four year old, is listening. I can tell him in the nicest way possible to do something or to stop and I swear he does everything he can to not listen. Then he throws a huge fit when he gets in trouble. One example: yesterday I asked him to pick something up off the floor. Instead of just doing it he stands there staring at me. I ask him again, even offering to help. He still refuses. By this time he's screaming and crying. Making it a thousand times worse. So I make him go sit on his bed. Still screaming. He refuses to sit anywhere for time out and thinks he can dismiss himself. Which starts the fight all over again. This happens with just about everything from me asking him to help to him getting his shoes/jacket on. The whining, the crying, the tantrum. Ugh.

I've tried several discipline techniques with both boys for listening/fighting and nothing has worked. The four year old doesn't seem to have a currency of any type and when I try new things with he five year old he gets mad and says that he doesn't like the chart, the reward jar, treasure box, stickers...you name it. If there are strings attached he hates it and doesn't care.

I'm literally at my wits end. We can hardly make it to church and back home without them getting in trouble. And all they have to so is walk with us and to their class and back out to the van.

Any tips, tricks, suggestions before I move out I the house without them?! LOL
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Old 01-30-2013, 07:33 AM   #2
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Have you read the book Siblings Without Rivalry? It's been so long since I have that I can't remember what things I incorporated from that and what came from something else, but I did really like the book.
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Old 01-30-2013, 07:37 AM   #3
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Re: Desperate for help! (Siblings/listening issues.)

Mine are 3 and 4 and do the same thing. I have not figured it out yet myself. I would love to hear what others say. I keep thinking eventually they will out grow it.
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Old 01-30-2013, 07:49 AM   #4
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Re: Desperate for help! (Siblings/listening issues.)

Haven't heard of the book but I may look into it.

Kimmie...I was really thinking/hoping for the same thing but I don't think it's going to happen here at my house. Not any time soon at least! LOL
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Old 01-30-2013, 08:17 AM   #5
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Re: Desperate for help! (Siblings/listening issues.)

My kids are a little bit older (4, 6 and 7) but for teasing and fighting they get to do chores. I'm going to make a jar with slips of paper on it so they can pick themselves. Right now I just tell them the chore. Or tell them to clean the other kid's room. I think fighting is normal and I'll never eliminate it completely. But, assigning them chores at least gets them out of each other's hair for a while and hopefully discourages them from doing it again (soon).
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