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Old 01-31-2013, 07:38 AM   #1
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Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

I don't understand why or how someone would decide NOT to breast feed (even while pregnant, I mean). It makes me sad. It seems like so many women are giving up early or just never starting to begin with. Nursing has been such and important and wonderful part of having and caring for our five children, and I'm looking forward to breast feeding my new little guy, due in 19 days.

Do you have friends or relatives who have decided in advance NOT to breašfeed? What were their reasons? I do know that some women who have had breast alterations sometimes can't nurse but aside from a true physical inability, why wouldn't a gal at least try it and see?
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Old 01-31-2013, 07:43 AM   #2
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

It can be scary and intimidating. I remember as a FTM going in with the mindset, yes it's best but formula feeds em too. I was SO squeamish about something suckling on my boob. Obviously its not really like that, but separating nursing and sexual activity was difficult in my mind at 21 year old. I was fortunate and had a easy latcher, and good milk flow so as a new mom, I was never challenged with it, but I had read some horror stories and frankly I'm not surprised some people just straight up call it off.
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Old 01-31-2013, 07:43 AM   #3
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

The one person that I know who said no way did not like how her boobs smelled.
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Old 01-31-2013, 07:47 AM   #4
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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The one person that I know who said no way did not like how her boobs smelled.
Wow, never heard that one before LOL.
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Old 01-31-2013, 07:55 AM   #5
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

This isn't totally me, since I really tried with DS (he spent 10 days in the NICU while I pumped, then I tried once he was home for 3 weeks before I quit) and sort of tried with DD, although I did supplement from day 1 and probably quit at 2 or 3 weeks.

BFing was not enjoyable for me. I did not feel any extra bonding with my child. I was uncomfortable nursing in front of people and hated feeling like I had to go and hide every time my kids wanted to eat. I also felt like it hindered me sexually. While I know breastmilk is the best nutrition for my child, it does not mean it was the best thing for our situation. There is so much that goes into being a parent- what is best for the child is having a happy, loving parent who cares for them and loves them. I was a much better parent once I stopped BFing because I was less stressed, more at ease, actually enjoyed feeding my baby, and overall happier.
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Old 01-31-2013, 07:58 AM   #6
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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Originally Posted by l_Kimmie_l View Post
The one person that I know who said no way did not like how her boobs smelled.
Wow...I'm not sure what to say about this one!
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Old 01-31-2013, 08:06 AM   #7
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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The one person that I know who said no way did not like how her boobs smelled.
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Originally Posted by Art mama View Post
Wow...I'm not sure what to say about this one!
She basically left him at my house till he was over a year all day till his dad came home from work. She visited during the day (she was my coworker and neighbor) for periods of time, but was not very maternal. He started calling me mommy, so we had to train him to call me nawny. He still calls me that 11 years later.
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Old 01-31-2013, 07:50 AM   #8
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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I don't understand why or how someone would decide NOT to breast feed (even while pregnant, I mean). It makes me sad. It seems like so many women are giving up early or just never starting to begin with. Nursing has been such and important and wonderful part of having and caring for our five children, and I'm looking forward to breast feeding my new little guy, due in 19 days.

Do you have friends or relatives who have decided in advance NOT to breašfeed? What were their reasons? I do know that some women who have had breast alterations sometimes can't nurse but aside from a true physical inability, why wouldn't a gal at least try it and see?
Because number 1, it's no one else's business how they decide to feed their kid. And, because number 2, to the bolded, it's not like that for everyone. I know women who have driven themselves to the depths of ppd trying to bf their kids so they're not judged as harshly as you've done. It's not all rainbows and unicorns to everyone.
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Old 01-31-2013, 08:01 AM   #9
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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Because number 1, it's no one else's business how they decide to feed their kid. And, because number 2, to the bolded, it's not like that for everyone. I know women who have driven themselves to the depths of ppd trying to bf their kids so they're not judged as harshly as you've done. It's not all rainbows and unicorns to everyone.
This thread is not about judgment, which is interesting because I think you came out of the gates judging me.

In the cases you mention though, those are unknowable until you try. KWIM? Having PPD or having a crazy rough time (btw I had a NICU baby and painful cracked bleeding mastitis for over a month the first time so believe you me it wasn't "rainbows and unicorns" here either ), wouldn't be known until you've at least *tried*. See what I'm saying? I'm asking about women who decide -in advance- not to even try.
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Old 01-31-2013, 08:08 AM   #10
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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This thread is not about judgment, which is interesting because I think you came out of the gates judging me.

In the cases you mention though, those are unknowable until you try. KWIM? Having PPD or having a crazy rough time (btw I had a NICU baby and painful cracked bleeding mastitis for over a month the first time so believe you me it wasn't "rainbows and unicorns" here either ), wouldn't be known until you've at least *tried*. See what I'm saying? I'm asking about women who decide -in advance- not to even try.
Whether you intended it to be about judgement or not, that is the way it sounds from the get go IMO. I tried with my first ( I have severely inverted nipples) and we did everything the lc could think of and it never worked. I was stressed and depressed for the 2 weeks we tried. I decided before having my second I was not going through that again, my sanity is more important than looking good in someone elses eyes. (Stupidly, I did try again, same results). These threads always hit a nerve with me because you make people feel ashamed for choosing what they feel is best for their child and their family based on your personal opinion.
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