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Old 10-27-2013, 07:57 PM   #1
CntryMama
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Will I ever feel like I am done having children?

I mean, does the desire to hold a baby, nurse them, sleep with them ever go away... I'm sure its all my post pregnancy hormones going crazy here but I keep thinking this is one less day with her... I dont want her to get bigger (though she does get cuter with time!). I just wonder if this feeling is ever going to go away, if not, how will I ever live knowing that we probably wont have more of our own (that is not a suicide thought, just sadness). I just wonder if I will ever be okay with it being over, baby days that is... Did anyone else have this problem? What did you do? I keep praying for clearity but my mind is a mess.

ETA: Okay, what if you WANT another one but dont think you can have one I just dont know if I physically can handle it with all the heart medication adjustments and issues I have... So this is probably it and I just dont want it to be... I have no desire to adopt/foster (dont know why, just not me).

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Old 10-27-2013, 08:01 PM   #2
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Re: Will I ever feel like I am done having children?

Once your really done,you will just know it. After I had my 4th baby, I knew I was done. My dh on the other hand would like another one down the road.
I don't know though, for me, my body and mind feel complete, I have my two boys and two girls and I just feel ready to watch them all grow up.
I don't know if that will change in the future, my youngest will be 2 in January so it's been almost 2 years since feeling done and nothing has changed for me.
Good luck in your own journey, when it is really time to be done, I think you will just feel it.
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Old 10-27-2013, 08:03 PM   #3
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For me it never did. Lol

But we knew our limits and DH had a vasectomy this year after a miscarriage. We have 7 kids so it is more than enough.

We may look into foster adopt down the line. But i want another baby everyday. But I do feel content as the days pass if you know what I mean.
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Old 10-27-2013, 08:33 PM   #4
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Re: Will I ever feel like I am done having children?

I think everyone reaches that point. I know I'll never stop having those pangs when I see a new baby, and occasionally I daydream about another baby, but most of the time, I'm so happy that DD2 is getting out of the baby stage, that the baby stuff is leaving my house, and that I'm moving on to the next stage of parenting. I'd like to be past naps and strollers and diapers and into other things. You will know. I wasn't that sure during those first few post partum months with DD2, but the longer I went out from her birth the more sure I've become. With DD1 I was bawling in the grocery store when I realized that DD1 wasn't a baby anymore. With DD2, I'm gleefully handing off bags of DD2's handmedowns to a playgroup mommy who was pregnant - she just had her baby on Friday and I'm dying to meet her. So happy to ditch the maternity clothes and nursing paraphanalia.

I will admit to missing nursing a little bit. DD2 took a freak out last night, and I was thinking while it took her a while to settle about how much easier that it would be if we were still nursing and I could just lie her down next to me and nurse her until she calmed down. But no, I don't really miss it to the point that I want another, I miss some simpler times.
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Old 10-27-2013, 08:22 PM   #5
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It totally goes away when you are really and truly done and know it, at least it did for me. We were ttc #3 for awhile but at some point I realized that the thought of doing all that baby stuff again just made me want to run far, far away. I have no desire to nurse again, do the whole night rocking zombie thing, and I don't have any desire whatsoever to hold other peoples babies. When I'm with a group of moms and the talk turns to anything baby related my eyes glaze over and I lose all interest. I love the big kid stage and realize I am 100% happy to be done with babies.

I realize not everyone has such definite feelings of doneness and for a lot of people maybe they never go away. But for me, those feelings are completely gone, so yes, it is possible :-)
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Old 10-27-2013, 08:22 PM   #6
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I only have 2,but I know I am done. I am 36 and my kids are 4yrs and 9mos. After having my son this year, my body just feels tired. It could not handle another pregnancy or another newborn, so I know for sure I'm done.
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Old 10-28-2013, 11:04 AM   #7
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Re: Will I ever feel like I am done having children?

I think for some it doesn't. It totally happened for me. I have four kids and my "baby" is 7 and I have NEVER gotten the feeling again, even when my sister had her first set of twins 3 years ago and then her second set of twins 2 months ago. Never.
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Old 10-27-2013, 08:22 PM   #8
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Re: Will I ever feel like I am done having children?

I hope it will just pop for me. We are on #5 and I don't feel content saying this is the last. DH says he wants to wait a while after he is born before we plan on another one.
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Old 10-27-2013, 08:25 PM   #9
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Re: Will I ever feel like I am done having children?

Okay, what if you WANT another one but dont think you can have one I just dont know if I physically can handle it with all the heart medication adjustments and issues I have... So this is probably it and I just dont want it to be... I have no desire to adopt/foster (dont know why, just not me).
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Old 10-27-2013, 08:29 PM   #10
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Re: Will I ever feel like I am done having children?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaof2cuties4ever View Post
Okay, what if you WANT another one but dont think you can have one I just dont know if I physically can handle it with all the heart medication adjustments and issues I have... So this is probably it and I just dont want it to be... I have no desire to adopt/foster (dont know why, just not me).
I have a friend like this. She's 38, got pregnant with #4, had a HORRIBLE pregnancy, then the baby died. She's in the weird place where she wants to have another but shouldn't risk her health (physical and mental.). She's been forced into baby making retirement and doesn't quite know what to do with herself.

It's been about a year and she's slowly adjusting to the idea of raising her family instead of growing her family.

Eta: they looked at fostering, but with the loss of the baby, they decided it wouldn't be good for their family. Every time a child left their home, it would just reopen the wounds.

Last edited by NotLad; 10-27-2013 at 08:32 PM.
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