ob dr and Homebirth midwife. . . .

[mrscompgeek]

If anyone has any advice I would really appreciate it!! I am using a homebirth midwife this time who is a CNM so licensed and legal and all. My first birth I had a entry level midwife who wasnt licensed so therefore when I had tearing and had to go to the ER she couldnt go with me. So the hospital thought I was a idiot for doing it "on my own". Well this time we have a licensed midwife and she will be able to go with us if I have to be transferred for any reason.
Well I have a GYN/OB dr that I see for GYN stuff and I have a app with her next week with a ultrasound and all. I REALLY like her and I dont want to loose her as my GYN dr and I really want to keep seeing her during pregnancy just so another Dr knows whats going on and if I have to transfer I have backup they can call in who knows me. But Im terrified to ask her if she will consider seeing me since Im planning a homebirth and will be seeing a midwife also. But yet I dont want to lie to her and see her the whole time then all the sudden "oops had the baby at home" ya know? Since she already knows my 1st baby was a homebirth baby I know she will realize what happened.
So what should I do? Should I ask her? Will it make a difference since my midwife is a CNM will she be more likely to agree to see me for a few appointments during the pregnancy? Or should I not mention the homebirth thing until later in pregnancy and just carry on as if I was going to have the baby in the hospital??

[Mara'sMommy]

I had a similar dilemma. I was seeing a gyno who I really liked but I knew I wasn't planning on delivering at the hospital, I wanted to deliver my dd at a birthing center instead. When I was about 33 weeks I just stopped going to see my gyno. Unfortunately she decided to come early and I couldn't deliver her at the birthing center, and I went to the hospital that they (birthing center) work with. I met the gyno who "delivered" my dd when I was 10 cm. He turned out to be a jerk. He fell asleep while I was pushing (something I regret every day since I had her, I knew I didn't have to push and that she would come naturally hence the contractions. Anyway......) and he also did a really really bad job stitching me up afterwards. I had to get skin tags snipped and re- stitched weeks later because he left gaps.

That was my experience, and if I could go back I would just suck it up, tell my gyno my plans and then atleast there wouldn't be a stranger helping deliver my baby. That's just my opinion.

[foodie.yarnie.mommie.]

Totally just tell her, I don't think she'll be upset, if anything I think she will think it's a good idea. The only thing is you'll be paying for both their services so as long as that's financially do-able, I say go for it. My last midwife had a OB she worked with so that if any of her patients turned high-risk or needed prescriptions for something (GD) they could go to him and he would know what was going on with them and be able to help. Really I think she'll be fine with it.

[KaysieW003]

I agree, just tell her so she can be informed and you can all plan together. I think she would be more upset if you didn't tell her and then had to go back to her or see her in an emergeny.

[Hillargh]

Just ask her if she would feel comfortable being your back up. A lot of midwives have OB back ups, and some mamas request for theirs to be the back up so they have that level of comfort and trust. Explain what your plan is, and how you'd like to see her fit into that. The worst she can say is no.

I wouldn't get too worked up about it. I doubt you'll offend her in any way. If anything I would be flattered that you trusted me enough to want me to be your back up in an emergency, kwim? You may not even be the first to ask her!

ETA: Make sure to find out which hospitals she has privileges at. If the one nearest you for transfer isn't one she can get to, you might want to have a different OB for back up^^

[mrscompgeek]

Originally Posted by Mara'sMommy I had a similar dilemma. I was seeing a gyno who I really liked but I knew I wasn't planning on delivering at the hospital, I wanted to deliver my dd at a birthing center instead. When I was about 33 weeks I just stopped going to see my gyno. Unfortunately she decided to come early and I couldn't deliver her at the birthing center, and I went to the hospital that they (birthing center) work with. I met the gyno who "delivered" my dd when I was 10 cm. He turned out to be a jerk. He fell asleep while I was pushing (something I regret every day since I had her, I knew I didn't have to push and that she would come naturally hence the contractions. Anyway......) and he also did a really really bad job stitching me up afterwards. I had to get skin tags snipped and re- stitched weeks later because he left gaps. That was my experience, and if I could go back I would just suck it up, tell my gyno my plans and then atleast there wouldn't be a stranger helping deliver my baby. That's just my opinion.

That was my problem with DD. THE ob dr on call for ER was JERK! He was so rude and here I am 20 minutes after giving birth and have tears up both side of my vagina walls and he shoves his FIST up my vagina. . .I was like OMG? I literally jumped and then he was all mad because I wouldnt hold still so he could examine me. . My doula went with me to the hospital and she saw it all and was cussing the dr out and told him "you better shut the h up until you push a baby out your vagina"

Originally Posted by Hillargh Just ask her if she would feel comfortable being your back up. A lot of midwives have OB back ups, and some mamas request for theirs to be the back up so they have that level of comfort and trust. Explain what your plan is, and how you'd like to see her fit into that. The worst she can say is no. I wouldn't get too worked up about it. I doubt you'll offend her in any way. If anything I would be flattered that you trusted me enough to want me to be your back up in an emergency, kwim? You may not even be the first to ask her! ETA: Make sure to find out which hospitals she has privileges at. If the one nearest you for transfer isn't one she can get to, you might want to have a different OB for back up^^

Im from a small town and Im positive she has never been asked this! Lol. I dont know one person in my town to have a homebirth besides me. Honest. Its unheard of here.

And again- small town. We only have 1 hospital so not a issue.

Thanks for the advice. . I think I will just ask her then. Im not a confrontational kind of person so the though of asking and getting turned down makes me soooo nervous but I know I really need to have a backup due to my history.

[crunch!910]

This is actually what I want to do. In case of an emergency, I don't want to get stuck with someone I've never met.. so I want to go to an OB and a midwife. But then again.. just because you go to an OB doesn't mean they'll be present at yoru birth if they aren't the one on call.. so I'm not sure if I should.