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Old 09-29-2012, 12:12 AM   #31
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Re: Affairs (Physical and emotional)

What a scumbag.. forcing you to be the one to file for the divorce. Ugh. How awful. Good luck, mama. Thinking of you. You aren't to blame here. He should have asked for a divorce lng ago before putting your whole family through all of this. What a freakin' coward.

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Old 02-02-2013, 11:52 AM   #32
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Re: Affairs (Physical and emotional)

I'm having the same problem, I don't know whether or not he's cheating. But I'm a SAHM too, My family is not around nor are any friends. (Just moved)...any time I ask him to sit for a little and talk I'm nagging, or he just completely disregards me. He doesn't listen or spend anytime with me anymore. I sit in the house with our daughter day in and day out getting disrespected. We've went to therapy...I still go he doesn't . I never ever thought I could be in this situation. But it's extremely hard to just leave..
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Old 02-07-2013, 12:46 PM   #33
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Re: Affairs (Physical and emotional)

it sounds like he don't want to work things out that he would be happy to continue his behavior while still being married to you.
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Old 02-13-2013, 09:00 AM   #34
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I think all couples go through rough spots BUT in order to make it through, both of you need to work together. My DH is a mute it is very difficult for him to verbalize his emotions but he tries. That's all that matters- effort and a willingness to work for the marriage.
I grew up in a divorced family and vow to never divorce without a fight. However, marriage is built on honesty and integrity. In my opinion, sounds like DH has checked out. Sorry, mama! You deserve a loving committed man, don't settle for less.
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Old 07-28-2013, 12:39 PM   #35
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Re: Affairs (Physical and emotional)

Ok .. Im going to say things that most of you dont want to hear. Give him space. Not enough space to cheat, but emotional space. Dont push him. I know you are hurting ... But so is he, even if you dont see it. Take a look at your marriage before your divorce. Those are the real problems. Adultery is a symptom, you have to go to the root. I strongly recommend a workshop in Nashville TN given by Joe Beam. Google it. Call them and talk to them.feel free to pm me. You dont HAVE to give up on your marriage. You CAN make it work.
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Old 07-28-2013, 12:50 PM   #36
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Honest? Doesn't sound like he is committed to the marriage or to you
Agree
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Old 07-28-2013, 04:04 PM   #37
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Agree
1) this is a really old thread. Has OP updated us? Where are you OP?

2) I think it's funny that you quoted and agree with yourself. ;-)
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Old 07-28-2013, 10:57 PM   #38
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Originally Posted by BeccaSueCongdon

1) this is a really old thread. Has OP updated us? Where are you OP?

2) I think it's funny that you quoted and agree with yourself. ;-)
Cause I still agree!! Hahaha
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Old 08-27-2013, 10:47 PM   #39
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Re: Affairs (Physical and emotional)

I would try a different approach. Don't talk about your problems. Praise him for every little thing you can. Do things that are meaningful to him. Another words... Be his friend and his cheerleader. Show him how important he is to you and remember to tell him things you RESPECT about him (not just love... Men thrive on respect, and the affairs could have to do with feeling like you don't respect him.)

My husband had an emotional affair. Before he slept with the woman he told me that he felt like she cared more about him then i do, because she would give him her undivided attention and remembered the details of his story. He also told me that even though he loves how I take care of the kids, he hates that I will walk away when he is in the middle if of a sentence to take care of them.

He was ready for a divorce. I was devastated. I did all the things i suggested you do. I didn't nag him. I didn't ask him to talk. I didn't ask for help unless I was desperate. Ifplaying video games our watching tv, i left him alone. And every day I praised him for every little thing he did well. And i wrote him respect letters weekor more often. I also asked him to tell me ways I could show him more respect. He said pay better attention to him. So i did.

The first few times i praised him/told him I respected him, I could see it touched him, but he tried not to show it. Within a month, he had a.change of heart. Today, we are back to being best.friends. Wee have 4 kids, including a 2 week old. But, our marriage is a priority. We spend tine together everyday, even if we just watch tv. And he never did have the affair. Instead, he quit his job. (the woman was his supervisor.) I couldn't be happier... But it was hard on the beginning. Good luck Mama.
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Old 08-28-2013, 08:05 AM   #40
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Re: Affairs (Physical and emotional)

Quote:
Originally Posted by makinhomesweet View Post
I would try a different approach. Don't talk about your problems. Praise him for every little thing you can. Do things that are meaningful to him. Another words... Be his friend and his cheerleader. Show him how important he is to you and remember to tell him things you RESPECT about him (not just love... Men thrive on respect, and the affairs could have to do with feeling like you don't respect him.)

My husband had an emotional affair. Before he slept with the woman he told me that he felt like she cared more about him then i do, because she would give him her undivided attention and remembered the details of his story. He also told me that even though he loves how I take care of the kids, he hates that I will walk away when he is in the middle if of a sentence to take care of them.

He was ready for a divorce. I was devastated. I did all the things i suggested you do. I didn't nag him. I didn't ask him to talk. I didn't ask for help unless I was desperate. Ifplaying video games our watching tv, i left him alone. And every day I praised him for every little thing he did well. And i wrote him respect letters weekor more often. I also asked him to tell me ways I could show him more respect. He said pay better attention to him. So i did.

The first few times i praised him/told him I respected him, I could see it touched him, but he tried not to show it. Within a month, he had a.change of heart. Today, we are back to being best.friends. Wee have 4 kids, including a 2 week old. But, our marriage is a priority. We spend tine together everyday, even if we just watch tv. And he never did have the affair. Instead, he quit his job. (the woman was his supervisor.) I couldn't be happier... But it was hard on the beginning. Good luck Mama.
Does he help you out now or talk to you?
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