Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

[ajane]

Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange I guess I don't get this either. I never watch someone change a diaper. Who would? When I volunteered in the nursery, I never paid attention to if a boy was cut or not. I just cleaned em up and changed them. Didn't occur to me to take inventory of foreskins.

Ummm, if you are actually looking when you are wiping you will notice. I've changed many poop diapers and I would never not look at what I'm doing. That is ridiculous to say you wouldn't look at the area while wiping and putting a new diaper on.

[ajane]

I didn't say anything about my family. Will is the first and only intact male on my side. My parents at first were but, they listened to why and respected our choice which I think says a lot. They were glad that we didn't just do it b/c that is what has always been done. How they really feel and what they really think? I don't know, but I'm glad they respect our choice.

My one sis in law absolutely freaked when she found out he wasn't circ'd. I was actually really shocked at her reaction. She has a son who is 6 years older. With her reaction I told her I had no intention in cutting off part of is penis since he was born perfect.

He is the 2nd intact male on dh's side. Dh only has a brother and he and his wife's only son is intact.

[Palooka]

Don't be embarrassed at all. My friend saw me change my boy's diaper and she said "Oh! THAT'S what it looks like!" It turns out she had never even seen her baby boy before they circumcised him... and he was a preemie! She'd never seen any uncircumcised penis ever. I'm sure this sounds judgmental, but now I sort of assume that if someone is pro-circ there's a good chance they have little to no experience with penises in their natural state. I don't mean I think I need to educate them, but I definitely don't feel intimidated by someone who has less knowledge and experience about a subject. KWIM? The flip side of that is I'm probably not going to preach to them about the pain of circ because I don't know, but if they bring it up I might ask about how it went for their boys.

[Palooka]

Originally Posted by ajane I didn't say anything about my family. Will is the first and only intact male on my side. My parents at first were but, they listened to why and respected our choice which I think says a lot. They were glad that we didn't just do it b/c that is what has always been done. How they really feel and what they really think? I don't know, but I'm glad they respect our choice. My one sis in law absolutely freaked when she found out he wasn't circ'd. I was actually really shocked at her reaction. She has a son who is 6 years older. With her reaction I told her I had no intention in cutting off part of is penis since he was born perfect. He is the 2nd intact male on dh's side. Dh only has a brother and he and his wife's only son is intact.

Yup, ours is the only intact male on both sides of the family. Most people didn't ask, it probably never crossed their minds that we wouldn't. But MIL asked how it went and when I said we didn't/wouldn't do it she and FIL sort of rolled their eyes like I was a dumb hippie. ---> duuuuh

[Arabesque]

No one has said anything to me, beyond general questions. It has been discussed within my circle of friends though, just like any other topic about caring for your baby.

[waterisntsomething]

Originally Posted by KaleidoscopeEyes nope. im an extremely vocal intactivist. if someone thinks that being intact is wrong or gross they dont deserve my respect and i wouldnt give two craps what they thought anyway. i think the circ rate is pretty much half and half these days, so chances are our boys being born now wont be the odd man out anyway. DH is intact and he's never felt judged or was never teased for being intact.

yep. Honestly I would have a pretty hard time staying friends with anyone who was vocal about choosing to circumcise. If it never comes up, great, but please don't tell me about it. I am very good at not judging others for their different parenting choices but circumcision is just one of those things that I have a hard time letting go.

[kushie tushie]

Originally Posted by ajane Ummm, if you are actually looking when you are wiping you will notice. I've changed many poop diapers and I would never not look at what I'm doing. That is ridiculous to say you wouldn't look at the area while wiping and putting a new diaper on.

I actually wrote out something similar to this after my first post but my stupid phone didnt post it.

I dont really understand how you cant tell unless your not looking. They look very different and its easily visible while changing a diaper. You wouldnt need to pick up the penis and inspect it or anything.

Not trying to be rude. I just really dont understand how you can tell if your the one changing the diaper and wiping them up.

Amanda . Blaming my phone for typos and crap.

[Terra]

My first is circ'ed, my second is not. Personally in my circle I don't feel judged. However in all fairness we don't sit around and talk about our children's genitalia since it's a personal thing.

[Shaunam]

Originally Posted by kushie tushie I actually wrote out something similar to this after my first post but my stupid phone didnt post it. I dont really understand how you cant tell unless your not looking. They look very different and its easily visible while changing a diaper. You wouldnt need to pick up the penis and inspect it or anything. Not trying to be rude. I just really dont understand how you can tell if your the one changing the diaper and wiping them up. Amanda . Blaming my phone for typos and crap.

Yeah I don't know how you wouldn't notice either. Maybe she meant she doesn't make a mental list of who is and who isn't. Like if someone asked her, "hey is johnny circ'ed" even if she changed his diaper a bunch of times, there's so many other little boys she's changed she honestly doesn't remember. But if all but one or two boys are circ'ed or vise versa, it would be almost impossible to not notice or remember. They kind of stand out when the vast majority goes one way and two or three are the outliers.

I used to work in a daycare and I live in a very high-circ area. I still remember which ones aren't because it was difficult to NOT notice or remember. Pretty much every intact boy had immigrant parents. See, easy peasy to remember. LOL

[Terra]

Originally Posted by KelseyH If someone looked at me like a freak because I chose not to mutilate my son, I probably wouldn't go out of my way to spend time with them. So that part wouldn't bother me. People around here are more surprised than grossed out or anything else, because circumcision is SOP. Anyone I've talked to in depth about it actually seems genuinely interested when I explain why, cite statistics, etc. If a circumcision "experience" conversation comes up, my contribution is just something along the lines of "I didn't circ DS because I couldn't bear to be responsible for him losing part of his body and going through intense pain for a cosmetic procedure." Most of the time the topic gets dropped. Haha They won't be the odd ones out, though. Circumcision is becoming less and less common. Don't worry, you did the right thing. and if they protest, you can always remind them that they can get it done later - and HOW it has to be done. I think my brother only complained once, before our mother explained and he realized what had to happen for him to "look like the other guys". Totally agree.

I'm pretty sure with your attitude and view that people mutilate their child, they wouldn't want to spend time with you as well. No wonder people are turned off by activists who are rude.