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Old 10-18-2012, 06:53 PM   #1
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First time with an OB...Normal?

I have either had Unassisted home/waterbirths, used a MW for basic needs, or just winged it. Until my last birth in Oct 2010. MW was 3 hours away, had to be checked by the hospital, they refused to let me leave under the threat of the Police, CPS, you name it. So I was forced to have a hospital delivery, had a horrible time, PP bleed, dx with severe PTSD after it. And here I sit, at almost 16wks with baby #4, in ND, where Homebirths are NOT welcomed, and the nearest MW is 4+ hours away.

It took me forever to find an OB I think I sort of like. I saw him at 13wks. Where I had like 11 vials of bloods removed, STD, Pap, internal and breast exams, all the "basic" OB things from what I gather. Of course I have to have the Pap done over again, at their expense, because the result came back with "background lubricant" which is odd, because DH and I have NEVER even owned lubricant, the Dr didn't use any to avoid contamination, and DH and I had abstained from DTD for 48 hours. So I have an appt on the 30th, at 17+wks for the Quad screen, more labs, another Pap, and meet with the Dr again. I can't refuse the Quad screen, since he requires it, which is fine, despite the high level of false +'s and anxiety it can cause. I am not going to rock the boat over something like that. I am saving the waves for later. But, here are the issues I am having:

He ALREADY has me down for an induction at 38wks. As in the date is set. Why? He said because I have labors under 4-5 hours start to finish, and I am at least an hour away, he is just going to do the "whole Pitocin, AROM and Cervidil if needed" routine. I have never gone into labor before 39wks, and my last labor they did AROM, and Pit, and it wasn't a great experience., nor was it needed other than to get me done before shift change. I kid you not. I am all for getting labor started at home with MY normal methods, but the Section rate with a straight forward induction is higher than I am comfortable with. Add to that he said if it comes making any sudden choices like an episiotomy/forceps and things like that, he just does them without having to explain. That is damn near exactly what he said.

And then there is the breastfeeding issue. I am "lightly" bf'ing my just turned 2 year old DD. She nurses 2-3 times a day. I have tandem nursed through pg before, and have at a min. single nursed through my last 2, not including this one. With no issues. Yup, I dialate early (4-5cm around 36wks), but don't go into labor until 42-41-39wks in that order. This Dr is old school and insists that I will deliver before 34wks because ALL bf'ing causes preterm labor. DH and I are strong advocates of child led weaning, and my others have weaned at 3yrs and a few months. DH said to just tell him Lily weaned and let it go. Not like she will be nursing in his office anyhow. But still, he is sooo pushy on this.

I have yet to approach the fact I will be refusing the eye ointment, all shots and some other tests. I will consent to the Newborn screening since they can turn you into CPS here for refusing it. At least that has happened to 2 friends so far. I hate having to deliver in ND, but going home to CA in the late winter/early spring with 3 kiddos in tow, isn't going to happen. Plus, DH missed the birth last time, and I want him with me this time. He is a walking force to be reckoned with, and I need him in my corner.

Does any of this seem out of the norm? I really don't want to start over again with a new OB, so do I need to just stand my ground? I will be making a VERY detailed birth plan, and going over it with him long before my due date, but what else can I do?

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Old 10-18-2012, 06:59 PM   #2
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Ya, he wouldn't be my doctor.
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Old 10-18-2012, 07:02 PM   #3
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Well I would RUN fast from that OB. In your case I would have an unassisted birth again. I can't believe he requires testing, we don't do any prenatal testing other than the 20 week anatomy scan.

I would never consent to a nonmedical induction either. I live in a very rural area and the hospital that my midwife delivers at, the closest hospital that does deliveries, is about a 2 hour drive in winter. If we make it we do but I won't agree to an induction to make sure we make it. I would rather stay home If the roads are impassable, which is a very real possibility in January here, and have an unassisted birth than consent to an induction.

You are in a crappy situation.

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Old 10-18-2012, 07:06 PM   #4
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Ya, he wouldn't be my doctor.
Run far away and find a new dr.
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Old 10-18-2012, 07:06 PM   #5
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Re: First time with an OB...Normal?

Doesn't sound normal, IMO. I would "shop around" for another OB.

First off, you can decline those early tests (pap, std) and can refuse any vaginal exams until... well, whenever you choose to allow them.
I don't understand him "requiring" the quad screen - I've never heard of a Dr requiring one, just recommending them.
Definitely don't agree with scheduling an induction - at least not at this point, and certainly not before 39 weeks!
An OB studied vaginas and uteri... what the hell business is it of his if you're still nursing or not?

I've never dealt with any of that crap from my Drs or OB. Anything I didn't want, I declined without them questioning me or lecturing me about it. Anything I wanted or requested, they did.
Maybe that's not the norm, though?!
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Old 10-18-2012, 07:16 PM   #6
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Re: First time with an OB...Normal?

I would be running far, far away from that DR. I don't think anyone can force you to submit to tests that you don't want. I would either shop for another DR or do an unassisted homebirth again.
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Old 10-18-2012, 07:16 PM   #7
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Ya, he wouldn't be my doctor.
Yup, time to find a new doctor...

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Old 10-18-2012, 07:22 PM   #8
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Oh mama, I am so, so sorry you are having such a rough go of it.

I did UP/UC with my first, saw a midwife 3 times for prenatals with my second and saw a high risk OB for my 3rd.

This does not sound at all normal or necessary to me.

I told my OB I wasn't comfortable doing a PAP while pregnant, and he was fine with that, even though I was honest and told him it had been years since my last. Said we could easily do it at my 6 week check.

I was high risk and I saw him weekly from 5-20 weeks, twice a week from 20-26 and 3 times a week from 26 until I delivered (at home, unassisted) at 38 weeks.

He did the blood work that is required by law in my state, but that wasn't a big deal to me, because they had to take a ton of blood anyway to test for various blood clotting disorders.

I did the GBS and the GTT but there was no other testing beyond my very frequent BPPs, which are completely non invasive and I felt they were necessary in my particular case.

He gently brought up the possibly of induction at 35 weeks when my fluid was abnormally high, but suggested we take a wait and see approach and it was fine by the next week.

He said he would not be comfortable with me going past 41 weeks with my history, and we would have to talk induction after that. I willed myself into labor at 38 weeks. But, I did agree with him on everything.

I felt like he and I were partners working toward the common goal of a healthy baby with the least traumatic labor possible. He was very excited that I wanted to have a natural birth, he listened to me tell the stories of my first two children's births with interest and respect, and he told me up front that he tries to avoid induction in every patient because of the risks and the increased pain it causes, but because he was a high risk dr he rarely got to witness natural birth.

I never felt like it was possible to feel respected by a doctor. He was so awesome. I told him I had anxiety issues regarding checking my cervix at the end of pregnancy and he said that was fine, he didn't need to know if I was dilated or effaced. He respected my wishes completely.

I hope you can shop around and find you a new doctor. I am living proof that you can be comfortable with an OB even if you aren't typically comfortable with doctors. I'm thinking about you mama.
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Old 10-18-2012, 07:33 PM   #9
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I am main stream when it comes to birthing and babies. Ive been induced everytime, already have an induction date with this one, I love epis, no problem with the std/pap work/genetic screening my obs suggest ect However, I would not go back to that doctor again. He's pushy, doesnt seem to listen, rude, misinformed-or flat out lieing to you-re:bfing) and youre not even half way through your pregnancy.....nope, not a chance Id go back.
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Old 10-18-2012, 07:42 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by my2sweets
I am main stream when it comes to birthing and babies. Ive been induced everytime, already have an induction date with this one, I love epis, no problem with the std/pap work/genetic screening my obs suggest ect However, I would not go back to that doctor again. He's pushy, doesnt seem to listen, rude, misinformed-or flat out lieing to you-re:bfing) and youre not even half way through your pregnancy.....nope, not a chance Id go back.
I could have written this myself. No way would
I ever go back to this doctor.

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