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Old 10-20-2012, 09:19 AM   #1
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Question My child likes his swing better than me...

I always thought that I would only use his swing or bouncy chair if I needed to get things done and for short periods of time. But he likes his swing better than me.

I will try and try to rock him to sleep and he will scream, even if I swing him in my arms, as soon and he's in the swing he'll fall asleep.

Most mornings I am desperate to play with him, hold him and spend time with him, be he only tolerates me for a short while and then screams no matter what position I hold him, where I play with him etc, but in his swing he will sit content and watch the mobile.

Do you think this is because he is breastfed? I am worried he associates me with feeding and sucking comfort and if he doesn't have that he doesn't want me.

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Old 10-20-2012, 09:49 AM   #2
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Re: My child likes his swing better than me...

it's probably just his personality. My DD wasn't a very touchy-feely baby. At 6 weeks when we'd try to rock her to sleep (as we had done successfully previously), she'd start arching her back and screaming to push away from us. When we'd lay her down in the crib by herself, she'd become happy and put herself to sleep.

She was happy on her playmat and she'd coo and play with the toys. When I'd go play with her, she was happy, but she would become silent-like as if I was bothering her.

Both her dad and I are introverts - I figure she just needs her own time.

Now she's 2 and wants to be on top of us at all times. Well, that started earlier, but I do understand your fears and I think it's just their personality. Not all babies are 'cuddly babies'. Or they atleast go through seasons when they're not.

you're not doing anything wrong. Just keep reading his cues and give him space when he wants it.
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Old 10-20-2012, 09:50 AM   #3
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Re: My child likes his swing better than me...

Mama! It has nothing to do with you breastfeeding him!!

My DS2 was exactly like this - he hated being held or rocked or cuddled to sleep. He would SCREAM and just get so upset. After a bit of it, we realized that as soon as he started squirming, if we just gave him a kiss (that was for us, lol) and laid him down on his own, he would fall right to sleep and have a good nap.
It was SO hard for me, I love the cuddles to sleep!!! And it felt "wrong", like I wasn't a good mom cuz I didn't rock him or nurse him to sleep. But it was what he wanted, so it was right to allow him, kwim?

And, at his age (if I'm reading that right he's only about a month old?) he shouldn't be staying awake for playtime, really. Most babies at that age only have about a 45min-1hr window of awake time before needing to sleep again - and by the time he wakes, stretches, gets changed and fed... well, it's time to sleep again.
That's totally normal, and has nothing to do with liking you or not! Just the age he's at. As he grows, his awake time will lengthen.
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Old 10-20-2012, 09:58 AM   #4
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Everyone tells me its "my fault" my baby won't ever leave me alone and play quietly away from me because I breastfeed. Its enough to have made me consider quitting... a lot.

I don't have any advice, just and my opinion that the opposite issue isn't fun either.
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Old 10-20-2012, 10:08 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by EmmaGM
Everyone tells me its "my fault" my baby won't ever leave me alone and play quietly away from me because I breastfeed. Its enough to have made me consider quitting... a lot.

I don't have any advice, just and my opinion that the opposite issue isn't fun either.
Not your fault at all. DD1 was just like your DS; she was truly a Velcro baby! I did exactly the same things with DD2 (BF on demand, co-sleep, no CIO, etc.) & she is much more mellow. She only gets clingy when she is tired. It's all about personality, not BF'ing, IMO.

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Old 10-20-2012, 11:27 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EmmaGM
Everyone tells me its "my fault" my baby won't ever leave me alone and play quietly away from me because I breastfeed. Its enough to have made me consider quitting... a lot.

I don't have any advice, just and my opinion that the opposite issue isn't fun either.
People try to tell me this too about my dd1. It makes me so mad. It's completely untrue. Every child is different. My dd2 is 3 weeks old and already she's different, but I haven't done anything different with her then I did with dd1.

OP, I actually never thought about this. My toddler has been attached since just a few weeks old. I could never get her to sleep anywhere but on me/right next to me touching. I can tell you that is very very difficult. I imagine it makes you sad but I think I would rather be in your situation. Yes, that sounds bad, but it is very tiring and draining to have a person glued to you at all times.
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Old 10-20-2012, 06:33 PM   #7
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Re: My child likes his swing better than me...

Thanks ladies, I guess I never thought about the opposite way. I just don't want him to get conditioned to using the swing to fall asleep.

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Originally Posted by canadianbakers View Post
And, at his age (if I'm reading that right he's only about a month old?) he shouldn't be staying awake for playtime, really. Most babies at that age only have about a 45min-1hr window of awake time before needing to sleep again - and by the time he wakes, stretches, gets changed and fed... well, it's time to sleep again.
That's totally normal, and has nothing to do with liking you or not! Just the age he's at. As he grows, his awake time will lengthen.
I wish he slept like he should for his age, most days he sleeps about 9-12 hours total, the best day I tracked him sleeping was just under 14 hours.
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