Pregnancy After Loss (Oct 19-31)

[quicksilverNHS]

Originally Posted by happymama1 Marie--I'm so happy for good news for you and will be continuing to keep you in my thoughts and prayers as these weeks pass...I especially pray that they will go quickly for you and that things will be smooth sailing once you reach viability

Thanks. We're pretty worn down around here and DH is ready to say we're done after this pregnancy no matter what happens. We NEED this to end well for our sanity.

Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum

[canadianbakers]

Originally Posted by quicksilverNHS Actually, the cancer was before my first son (2008) but the scar tissue scarred my cervix closed (hence my 36 hours of active labor with him...not including the early labor I was in for 4 weeks contracting every 5-10mins prior to active labor beginning). Delivering him stretched the scar tissue open and breaking the scar tissue is what completed the weakening process for my poor cervix. With DS1 (2009), my contractions started at 20-21 weeks. With DS2 (2011) they began at 15-16. I'm really hoping that the doc will place it early and that it (plus progesterone) holds things closed (I'm certain that I have low progesterone and that progesterone is absolutely necessary and plays a definite role in my cervical issues). I just want to make it to January or past before I start moderate bed rest (which is my best case scenario) and to Feb or March before things get strict.

Gotcha. Thank you for sharing all that!
Honestly, I can see them brushing those off as BH contractions, if no cervical changes (dilation, effacement) were taking place. My BH started at 20 weeks with DD, and have started at 15 weeks with all the others - and they are always very uncomfortable and often painful for me, but I have no cervical changes along with them.
But, at the same time, if you were feeling like something was going on, they should have looked into things more and listened to your concerns - mother's intuition is real, and very often right.

Originally Posted by quicksilverNHS Thanks. We're pretty worn down around here and DH is ready to say we're done after this pregnancy no matter what happens. We NEED this to end well for our sanity.

I can understand how your DH is feeling - we are feeling the same way. After this, no matter what, we are done with pregnancies. There is just no way we can live through this again.
We were both unsure of what we wanted to do, after losing Elliana. I suppose this was the reason for that, although we weren't necessarily planning to get pregnant, kwim?

[carlycurry]

Originally Posted by quicksilverNHS Doppler picked it up instantly (10w5d) at 170bpm today! We're almost a week further than when my furthest miscarriage stopped developing. I'm starting to feel hopeful that I'll make it out of the first trimester! After that, all bets are off, but I'm feeling okay about this pregnancy for the first time since it started. I think I was at 0.01% hope when we started and I'm at about 5% now. Next Wed I'll be half way to viability. COME ON BABY! Stick with me! Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum

So happy for you!!! I'm keeping you in my prayers, Marie! I can't even imagine how much you have been through, mama. You are one strong woman!!

Originally Posted by ingrid5699 YAY for more hope Marie! For the other girls I do hope you get more constant movement soon! But I know that with DD she had quiet days right until 28w or so which is why the doppler was such a wonderful thing! Andrea glad you are at peace with your birthing decision. AFM-hanging in there. Hyperemesis is still bad despite a triple combo of meds but thankfully baby seems to be just fine. I am easily able to pick up the hb on my doppler now. Back to the peri today to go over the results of my blood tests from last week. I'm also trying not to let the fact that we are in full construction mode with our house addition now get to me. The excavator is currently tearing down our entryhall to make room for it's access to the backyard where it will dig a hule hole for the basement of our addition. All worth it but when you are so sick and need rest it's not that much fun. Of course my DS is THRILLED because being a boyish boy there is just nothing better than a real excavator in the house.

So glad to hear you are easily picking up HB on the doppler!! I hope that you start feeling better very soon, mama!

AFM: I had my first OB appt today since I had last seen her in September for my final check-up after the D&C... even though I just had a pap in July, they did one again... weird, but ok.. so I had a pap with breast exam, and internal exam said she felt my uterust felt right at 6 weeks... I expressed my fears/anxiety after my recent loss, and she was more than happy to get me in for an ultrasound asap... so I go in tomorrow morning for an ultrasound... I'll be 6w0d according to my ovulation date, so I sure as heck hope to see a baby with a heartbeat even though it's sooo early... Keep your fingers crossed I get a heartbeat and can finally have some peace of mind!!

I hope you all have a wonderful evening... it's a nail-biter kind of night watching the election coverage. Goodnight, lovely mamas!!

[quicksilverNHS]

Originally Posted by canadianbakers Gotcha. Thank you for sharing all that! Honestly, I can see them brushing those off as BH contractions, if no cervical changes (dilation, effacement) were taking place. My BH started at 20 weeks with DD, and have started at 15 weeks with all the others - and they are always very uncomfortable and often painful for me, but I have no cervical changes along with them. But, at the same time, if you were feeling like something was going on, they should have looked into things more and listened to your concerns - mother's intuition is real, and very often right.

I was having cervical changes with my contractions. With DS1, I had them starting at 20-21 weeks and was dilated to a 1 by 21 weeks. After that, the doc gave me meds to control contractions until 28 weeks. After that my contractions didn't come back consistently (still had them, just only randomly like BH are supposed to be) until 34-35 weeks. I dilated to a 3 by 36 weeks from those contractons. At 36 weeks I contracted every 5-10 mins til I went into active labor, but the scar tissue kept me from dilating past a 3. But, 36 hours of hard labor managed to SLOWLY SLOWLY get me to a 10.

With DS2, I had no dilation at 20 weeks when I had my anatomy scan, but the ultrasound tech didn't do cervical measurements, just showed that it was closed. I suspected I was funneling (i've seen enough ultrasounds of my cervix to know it seemed off) and softening at 20 weeks, although not yet dilating from my contractions (then 3-4 per hour off and on a few times a day from 15-20 weeks, then 3-4 per hour consistently from 20 weeks onward). At 22 weeks I went to my doc and said that I was having contractions and they were coming 3-4 per hour EVERY hour no matter how much I rested or how much water I drank and she told me they were BH and I just needed to relax and drink lots of water (as if I hadn't just told her I'd tried that). I was also having mucousy discharge, sharp pains in my cervix (always get them when I'm dilating), pressure, and the contractions had increased in intensity for 2 days prior to the appointment. She then told me my previous losses had made me "paranoid" and that I was far beyond where I'd been with any of my other losses and I should just relax. I was admitted at 6cm 3 days later without any increase in contractions. I'm sure that in the 2 weeks between my 20 week anatomy scan and my 22 week appointment, my cervix had made significant changes due to the contractions---and teh extra 3 days just sent me over the edge to the point of no return.

Originally Posted by carlycurry So happy for you!!! I'm keeping you in my prayers, Marie! I can't even imagine how much you have been through, mama. You are one strong woman!!

Aww, shucks. Thanks. I am going to try to get a cell phone video of my doppler today so I can post it tomorrow with my belly pic. I have one of Deagan at 11 weeks and I just love watching it <3!

Originally Posted by carlycurry AFM: I had my first OB appt today since I had last seen her in September for my final check-up after the D&C... even though I just had a pap in July, they did one again... weird, but ok.. so I had a pap with breast exam, and internal exam said she felt my uterust felt right at 6 weeks... I expressed my fears/anxiety after my recent loss, and she was more than happy to get me in for an ultrasound asap... so I go in tomorrow morning for an ultrasound... I'll be 6w0d according to my ovulation date, so I sure as heck hope to see a baby with a heartbeat even though it's sooo early... Keep your fingers crossed I get a heartbeat and can finally have some peace of mind!!

Weird that they are re-doing the pap. My last one was in Feb (when I miscarried last time right after hubby deployed), so my doc said there was no reason to bother irritating my cervix and that as long as I'd had one in the last 18 months they probably wouldn't have opted to do one anyway. He said he wanted to do one for sure after baby, though (and since I've had cancer, I'm all for it---once this baby is OUT!)

I'm SO glad they're letting you have an early ultrasound to ease your mind! I REALLY hope you get a pretty little HB tomorrow (and pics for us ), but remember that if you don't its common not to see a HB so early, especially if you're a couple days off----at that stage a few days makes a HUGE difference! Best of luck to you and KEEP US POSTED! (yes, I'm yelling. Now that I'm getting a little excited/attached to this baby, its not as painful to see other people's happy pregnancy posts, so I'm totally excited and nervous right along with you )

Originally Posted by carlycurry I hope you all have a wonderful evening... it's a nail-biter kind of night watching the election coverage. Goodnight, lovely mamas!!

I'm not sure who you're rooting for, but I'm gonna be right there along with you staring holes in my TV watching the coverage. In fact, I'm skyping with my BFF (an NC lawyer who is SO passionate about politics like me!) so we can yell at the TV together while DH puts DS to sleep tonight---Hope he can sleep with me actin' a fool in the living room

[canadianbakers]

Originally Posted by carlycurry AFM: I had my first OB appt today since I had last seen her in September for my final check-up after the D&C... even though I just had a pap in July, they did one again... weird, but ok.. so I had a pap with breast exam, and internal exam said she felt my uterust felt right at 6 weeks... I expressed my fears/anxiety after my recent loss, and she was more than happy to get me in for an ultrasound asap... so I go in tomorrow morning for an ultrasound... I'll be 6w0d according to my ovulation date, so I sure as heck hope to see a baby with a heartbeat even though it's sooo early... Keep your fingers crossed I get a heartbeat and can finally have some peace of mind!!

That's... strange about the pap. Did they give you any reason?
That's great that she listened to your concerns and is getting you in for an u/s right away. and for a fluttering bean in there!

Originally Posted by quicksilverNHS I was having cervical changes with my contractions.

Holy crap! WTF?!!!!
Wow. That just... wow. How irresponsible of them. Disgusting.

[quicksilverNHS]

Originally Posted by canadianbakers Holy crap! WTF?!!!! Wow. That just... wow. How irresponsible of them. Disgusting.

Yup, this is exactly why I switched my insurance and found a CIVILIAN doctor. Nothing wrong with military insurance---except military DOCTORS. They can't be fired, can't be sued, and are desensitized to death and violence.

[canadianbakers]

Marie - I don't blame you at all.

Trace - I hope you are doing okay, mama.

[TS8213]

Originally Posted by canadianbakers I am terrified thinking ahead to the u/s, but in some ways it'll be relieving. Either Babe will look okay and things will be fine and we can move forward, thinking about actually possibly having a baby in the spring. Or things will look wrong, and we can move forward dealing with a facing those things. But at least it will be kinda "done", one way or the other.

Hoping your u/s brings you good news and along with that a bit of relief so you can hopefully start to enjoy this pregnancy a lil bit more.

Originally Posted by quicksilverNHS Doppler picked it up instantly (10w5d) at 170bpm today! We're almost a week further than when my furthest miscarriage stopped developing. I'm starting to feel hopeful that I'll make it out of the first trimester! After that, all bets are off, but I'm feeling okay about this pregnancy for the first time since it started. I think I was at 0.01% hope when we started and I'm at about 5% now. Next Wed I'll be half way to viability. COME ON BABY! Stick with me! Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum

Great news! Yay for a nice strong HB and for reaching those small but very important milestones.

Originally Posted by ingrid5699 AFM-hanging in there. Hyperemesis is still bad despite a triple combo of meds but thankfully baby seems to be just fine. I am easily able to pick up the hb on my doppler now. Back to the peri today to go over the results of my blood tests from last week. I'm also trying not to let the fact that we are in full construction mode with our house addition now get to me. The excavator is currently tearing down our entryhall to make room for it's access to the backyard where it will dig a hule hole for the basement of our addition. All worth it but when you are so sick and need rest it's not that much fun. Of course my DS is THRILLED because being a boyish boy there is just nothing better than a real excavator in the house.

to the hyperemesis. I can't remember if you said previously, but does this typically last for your entire pregnancy? Good luck with the renovations. I'm just patiently waiting for the day we buy a house. Maybe within the next year? Who knows. I have so many home ideas pinned on my Pinterest boards!

Originally Posted by carlycurry AFM: I had my first OB appt today since I had last seen her in September for my final check-up after the D&C... even though I just had a pap in July, they did one again... weird, but ok.. so I had a pap with breast exam, and internal exam said she felt my uterust felt right at 6 weeks... I expressed my fears/anxiety after my recent loss, and she was more than happy to get me in for an ultrasound asap... so I go in tomorrow morning for an ultrasound... I'll be 6w0d according to my ovulation date, so I sure as heck hope to see a baby with a heartbeat even though it's sooo early... Keep your fingers crossed I get a heartbeat and can finally have some peace of mind!!

That is weird about the PAP. I had one in Oct 2011 at my first OB appt for my last pregnancy so this time they said I didn't need one at my first OB appt (July 2012) since it had been less than a year. I dislike PAPs so much I probably would've refused since you just had one 3-4 months ago. FX that you get to see that little blipping HB on the u/s tomorrow!


AFM: I survived yesterday. I was less emotional than I thought I'd be about this day. I worked a 12 and I kept busy, so I think that really had a lot to do with it. By the time I got home I was exhausted and went to bed shortly after. DD and I talked about Colton but my DH didn't even acknowledge the day. We really didn't get a chance to do anything memorial-wise, but there's a yearly candle vigil in early December that we'll go to like we did last year. Little miss is moving daily still. I suspect she's still breech since I'm frequently getting kicked in the cervix, which feels really weird. 23 weeks now and my next appt is next week Friday. DD's golden birthday is on Thursday (the 8th) and her friend party is this weekend. We're doing a Spa Sleepover theme. She invited 6 other girls. I've volunteered DH to stay up and keep them in line all night. Over the weekend we picked out fabric for the crib bedding. MIL is a seamstress and will make it for us. We went with an owl them (cute, not obnoxious) in colors of lavender/aqua/off white. I bought extra fabrics to make my first patchwork quilt to match. If it's anything like the knitting I started last November then it'll never get done. LOL!

[TS8213]

November thread - better late than never!