What do you do when your child loves her school, but you don't?

[cdeweese]

Originally Posted by Nickel+3 I'd just fix the problem yourself and don't pack her lunches that need heating up.

This. And I'd ask the teacher to be sure she gets her food in person. I'd also have a conversation with the director about being made to feel like I'm "that parent" when my child hasn't eaten all day. I pulled my daughter from a Mother's Day Out program she LOVED (and still asks for) because I didn't like the quality of care. I'm not super picky, but my daughter came home with Hand, Foot and Mouth a week after several others in the class had it the week before and the school failed to notify parents. HUGE deal to me! In the end 9 out the 11 kids in her class got it (a heads up would've been nice considering I also had a 13 month old at home). My kids both love people I would never trust to care for them. If lunch is the only problem, I'd go above the teacher's head next time and stop sending food that needs to be prepared.

[essential1892]

I would keep her in the school.

On a separate note- I don't think changing schools at this age is traumatic. Kids, at least my kids, seem to adjust pretty easily to making new friends.

[doodah]

No matter where your kid goes to school or childcare, you will never agree 100% with everything that is done there. There will always be issues of some sort. The only solution to having everything go your way every day is to do it yourself and homeschool....and homeschooling comes with its own set of issues. I would leave her where she is and just do my best to work around the snack/lunch issues. In the grand scheme of things, I think you are being too picky and looking for perfection. Perhaps that is what the teacher is sensing from you and in return, not being as approachable as you would like. She perhaps feels that you are looking for perfection, which she cannot guarantee. The whole original lunch episode happened one day weeks (if not months) ago and you still havent moved on...... I understand the need to ask for clarification and try to solve the issue but at a certain point, you have to accept what the school/teachers are and are not willing to do. There is only so much they can or will change for one child. Imagine handling lunch for that many kids every day....there is no system that will please all the parents and the staff is just doing their best but things ARE going to happen with that many kids. It doesnt surprise me at all that a lunch was overlooked, especially when you daughter did not speak up for herself.

sorry if this is too harsh.

[corinne76]

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[debmom2boyz]

If possible, have her not bring food that needs to be heated up. It sounds a bit hectic in that lunch room with kids needing their lunches heated up. Lunch is typically a crazy time of the day anyway. If they have 10 lunches to heat up 2 mins. on average...that's 20 min. I'm sure there is an order they take the lunch to be heated up. Try to avoid that microwave issue.

My son LOVES school lunches. He eats it! He rarely eats all of his dinner. He buys a few days a week. It costs $2. He now has gone on a breakfast kick. It won't be an every day thing. Serving honey buns for breakfast...yeah, no thanks!

If she likes it, keep her. Move her next year.

Can you go in during lunch to see what is really happening?

[pumkinsmommy]

I would work with your daughter on the lunch. I suggest only sending hot things in a thermos so she can begin eating asap. I have never heard of a school that would heat things up. I have an eater similar to yours and it is not easy. In addition we are a nut free room.

[luvsviola]

Yup--never heard of a school that heats either! It would take too much of kiddo's eating time.

[NYCVeg]

Originally Posted by luvsviola If she's happy, and she's learning, I'd leave her be. Changing schools is traumatic for kids.

I actually think this very much depends on the kid and the age. I went to four different schools between K and second grade (a move, and then some challenges finding a good fit, and then a spot opening up in the school my parents wanted). I wasn't traumatized at all. In the city I live in, it is not at all uncommon for kids to change schools during elementary--there's lots of movement between public and private, spots open up in private schools, schools turn out not to be a good fit, etc. If a move is made with sensitivity to the child, I honestly don't think it has to be a big deal.

That said, I wouldn't necessarily move your dd. It's true that you will never be 100% satisfied, so you have to weigh the pros and cons for yourself. If there's a consistent pattern of multiple children not being fed, though, that would concern me.

[kimb96]

Originally Posted by doodah No matter where your kid goes to school or childcare, you will never agree 100% with everything that is done there. There will always be issues of some sort. The only solution to having everything go your way every day is to do it yourself and homeschool....and homeschooling comes with its own set of issues. I would leave her where she is and just do my best to work around the snack/lunch issues. In the grand scheme of things, I think you are being too picky and looking for perfection. Perhaps that is what the teacher is sensing from you and in return, not being as approachable as you would like. She perhaps feels that you are looking for perfection, which she cannot guarantee. The whole original lunch episode happened one day weeks (if not months) ago and you still havent moved on...... I understand the need to ask for clarification and try to solve the issue but at a certain point, you have to accept what the school/teachers are and are not willing to do. There is only so much they can or will change for one child. Imagine handling lunch for that many kids every day....there is no system that will please all the parents and the staff is just doing their best but things ARE going to happen with that many kids. It doesnt surprise me at all that a lunch was overlooked, especially when you daughter did not speak up for herself. sorry if this is too harsh.

I agree with this. If it was only the one time that she didn't get her food, I would let it go. As long as your dd is getting her food, I don't think it is the teacher's responsibility to babysit your child to make sure she eats. When ds first started going to school, he didn't hardly eat anything because he was too busy socializing at lunch time. I quit letting him snack after school when he didn't eat his lunch and made him wait until dinner. I told him his not eating was a waste of food. Every now and again, he will come home with a nearly full lunch box but for the most part he eats most of it.

[corinne76]

Where does it say i haven't let it go? I was merely referencing it and stating my stand on it. I did not say i am still pressing the issue and expecting an answer. The forgotten lunch was awhile ago, but it was only one of the issues. For the record, i havent so much as mentioned it to her teacher since, and did take measures to resolve the lunch thing with dd, and no i did not expect the school to do anything special for her. Geez