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Old 11-21-2012, 05:33 PM   #11
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We found out before birth with all four of ours, and of I had to go back and do it again, it would be the same! I just feel that much more bonded when I know the gender!

sorry, i'm really bad at autocorrect and I don't like proof reading!

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Old 11-21-2012, 06:31 PM   #12
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Re: Do we or don't we....

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Find out the gender? We already have 3 kids (2 boys 1 girl) I don't really care either way but I'm not sure I want I wait to find out either....I love the idea of the surprise but Im not sure I can wait ahhhh
Moms who don't find out tell me why an how special ur surprise was.
Moms who have found out in the past like myself if you could do it again Or have done it again would you not find out?
I did NOT find out with my first 3 kids (all boys).

I DID find out with my 4th child (a girl!).

I LOVED BOTH WAYS!!! I don't even know what I would do if I had a 5th because both ways were sooo cool. I loved the surprise... that moment (for me) when they pull the baby out and start shouting, "IT's a _____!!!" and that moment when you think "no way!" even when you thought maybe it was that gender. It's just such a cool feeling. You grin from ear to ear because it's just sooo neat.

When I found out with #4 it was very anti-climatic. At first, I didn't like knowing the gender. Even though it was my first girl, I just didn't get excited for a few weeks (and I thought I would). But over time, I started getting more excited. I started sewing baby girl things, I felt more connected to the baby in utero too. I knew I could say "She" and was 80% sure it was right. The moment of birth was NOT as climatic with already knowing, but it was still special. Then I had a bunch of girl things waiting for her.

Sooo... personally, I loved both experiences. I lean more towards liking the surprise though, but if DH wanted to know again (he persuaded me with the 4th) I would probably give in.
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Old 11-21-2012, 07:42 PM   #13
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Re: Do we or don't we....

Don't find out!
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Old 11-21-2012, 07:59 PM   #14
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Re: Do we or don't we....

I like to know because I shop sales ahead of time haha! I hate having to be out $ at the last minute. So after I find out, I scour the sale racks and shop for clothing through the first year. Until recently, I haven't had to buy clothing for my kids at retail price because we lays shop ahead It also gives my family a chance to feel a part of the pregnancy (we're military and only see them once or twice a year). They LOVE knowing and being able to purchase things to help us (especially clothing-wise). I contemplated not knowing, but I know I can't afford to buy an entire wardrobe at once. Nor do I want to have my baby wearing gender neutral clothing the first six months to a year.
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Old 11-21-2012, 08:12 PM   #15
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We found out with our first 3, but our 4th was a surprise. It was awesome! I wouldn't find out ever again if we had more. It's the best gift to find out when they're born. And as for bonding, as soon as you hold that baby in your arms, you bond! It was great having my hubby yell out "it's a boy, it's a boy". We had 2 girls, and a boy already so he evened the teams. The nurses actually fought over us because everyone wanted to know if daddy would be outnumbered or the teams would be evened out. We didn't name our last 2 until after delivery. We just had a list, bonded with them for 2 days, then picked the one that matched them best. As for clothes, I bought one of each gender for the hospital, bought a headband and bow (if girl), and then got some boy and girl stuff from yard sales ($1 an item). The stuff we didn't need, I gave to my daughter for her baby dolls, and I used the boy and neutral for my guy until I went out and got clothes. Also, many people brought clothes over knowing we waited to find out. Stay team green...you will NOT regret it!
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Old 11-21-2012, 09:34 PM   #16
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With or first, we didn't find out and it was soooo awesome (boy). With our second (boy), we found out and with this one (boy yet again!) we found out but if I had 1 of each, there's no way I'd find out ahead of time. There is no other time in life that you get a truer surprise. It's awesome!

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Old 11-21-2012, 10:04 PM   #17
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Re: Do we or don't we....

I'm not really understanding this "need to buy clothes" from those that already have a child, especially those who have at least one of each sex already. Isn't it more prudent to save your children's clothes and hand them down to the next one? Baby girls CAN wear boy clothing. I only mention shopping in my response because if I knew this baby is a girl, there have been many opportunities where I could have bought girl clothes that I like but didn't. I have clothes. I have a ton of boy clothes and even a good amount of girl clothes. I've bought some at yard sales throughout the years and while it wouldn't be enough for a full wardrobe for a little girl, she'll be alright until garage sale season starts up next year and there is no shortage of baby girl clothing to be found at low prices. The resources I "missed out from" during pregnancy will still be available after baby's birth. Even if I didn't have one shred of pink for her to wear, I've got more than enough boy clothing that doesn't say "Daddy's Little Slugger" or "100% Boy" on it. These things would do until I got the chance to get some girly gear, or at very least, a few headbands.

But then, I don't exactly buy all Gymboree or designer clothing, so maybe that's the difference. If you want all Baby Gap and Gymboree clothes, it does make sense to plan to buy during their sales events.

I also expect that if this baby is a girl, just about everyone in my life will want to gift me baby girl clothes for her, knowing that with two big brothers, I have mostly boy stuff.
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Old 11-22-2012, 03:44 AM   #18
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Re: Do we or don't we....

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I'm not really understanding this "need to buy clothes" from those that already have a child, especially those who have at least one of each sex already. Isn't it more prudent to save your children's clothes and hand them down to the next one? Baby girls CAN wear boy clothing. I only mention shopping in my response because if I knew this baby is a girl, there have been many opportunities where I could have bought girl clothes that I like but didn't. I have clothes. I have a ton of boy clothes and even a good amount of girl clothes. I've bought some at yard sales throughout the years and while it wouldn't be enough for a full wardrobe for a little girl, she'll be alright until garage sale season starts up next year and there is no shortage of baby girl clothing to be found at low prices. The resources I "missed out from" during pregnancy will still be available after baby's birth. Even if I didn't have one shred of pink for her to wear, I've got more than enough boy clothing that doesn't say "Daddy's Little Slugger" or "100% Boy" on it. These things would do until I got the chance to get some girly gear, or at very least, a few headbands.

But then, I don't exactly buy all Gymboree or designer clothing, so maybe that's the difference. If you want all Baby Gap and Gymboree clothes, it does make sense to plan to buy during their sales events.

I also expect that if this baby is a girl, just about everyone in my life will want to gift me baby girl clothes for her, knowing that with two big brothers, I have mostly boy stuff.
We didn't find out with #4 specifically to get clothes. Dh wanted to know mostly and since I got my way with the other 3 boys, I said "okay". I was just saying it was a fun perk to get to make quilts and sew dresses and headbands when we found out we were having our first girl. And, honestly, after 3 boys; I want my baby girl in PINK, PINK, PINK! haha. My sister dresses her 3rd baby (first girl) in more neutral/almost boyish clothes and it's just not my style. We farm and have 3 boys and everything is so rough and tumble and muddy... it's nice to have a little girl be dressed up to look at (I won't even mind if she gets her pink dresses muddy).
And everyone was so thrilled we got a baby girl with #4, that I've barely had to buy any clothes for her (other than ones I really love and want her to have, tights, and then homemade stuff which I have some pretty sweet pink golden books fabric I splurged on). Some of us also have to have c-sections and between that recovery and having 3 older kids to take care of plus a newborn, I did not shop for ANYTHING post-partum for a longggggg while. So definitely no time then.
All my baby gear is gender neutral so I AM thankful for that and encourage everyone to get gender neutral gear because it's too expensive (even second hand) to have to buy for every baby!
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Old 11-22-2012, 06:23 AM   #19
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It depends on the situation surrounding the birth. Until (if) I have a boy and girl I will find out. Certainly you can put girls in boys clothes and boys in girls or buy gender neutral, but frankly I dont want to.

This is a personal reason that probably wont change your decision, but DH will miss most of the pregnancy and birth. He will come home to a very different and difficult life. If I can provide him (and all my family living away from me) one more way to bond/make the pregnancy seem more real ahead of time then I will.
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Old 11-22-2012, 06:35 AM   #20
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I found out with my first 2 children. I wanted my last pregnancy to be a surprise but dh backed out at the u/s. This one is going to be a surprise.
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