DECEMBER 2012 CHAT THREAD

[Kristi26]

Originally Posted by newmommy13 This is kind of a bummer start to the month. Kristi I can't imagine. How is baby doing? This seems like such a tease, so unfair. A sweet baby that needs you and its just not going to work out. Ivparker are you worried for the babies safety or just going to miss them?

He seems to be doing pretty well. There is talk of his being discharged by next week, which is good news. However, he came very close to dyeing in her belly when he was born by emergency last month and so, it's hard to believe that there aren't at least a few issues at this point. The dr had said (when I was there) that he would likely have some organ and brain damage from it, though mom and dad haven't breathed a word about that since so I can't be sure. I'm just praying he has recovered miraculously and that this adoption to another family is truly the best thing for him.

[newmommy13]

Im so sorry.

[Kimmyann]

I seem to be struggling this month. I haven't moved a bit in 6 months at my agency. My son really wants a sibling and there is nothing I can really do except wait this adoption out or attempt fertility treatments again. I want at least 3 kids but I am not getting younger. I will be 42 in April so if I am going to carry a baby I have to hurry up. I have the opportunity to try and get pregnant again in January and February if everything falls into place as it should but I don't know what I should do about the adoption agency. No matter what I still plan on adopting but I don't know if I should bring it up before attempting or just keep quiet and see what happens in the end. If I don't get pregnant in the next few months the plan is to wait until after the 2 adoption is final and get a surrogate.

Wishing I could just wake up and know all the right answers.

[FindingMercy]

So sorry Kimmyann.

[Mama2ManyBoyz]

I haven't posted in awhile, but we are still head over heels in love with dfd. She is SO attached to me and extremely needy. I really thought it would get better over time, but it appears to be getting worse. It's as if the more I love her, the more she craves it and realizes it was what she should have been getting all along. Does that make sense? Has anyone ever experienced this? She is always under my feet, tripping me. Always talking to me or simply saying my name so I will look at her even if she has nothing to say. Hugging me. Bolting into my lap the second I sit down. She finally plays in the other room with the kids, but peeks on me while I'm cleaning or whatever I'm doing. Hysterical if she thinks I'm leaving. She calls me her "very special mommy". I don't know if words can do a justice. She is just so incredibly needy that it's exhausting...even though I adore her.

ETA: I simply can't wrap my mind around what her life looked like to bring her to this point, though I do know that the number of kids bio mom has lost is nearing the double digits, so I can only imagine.

[~*~Sunflower~*~]

Originally Posted by Mama2ManyBoyz I haven't posted in awhile, but we are still head over heels in love with dfd. She is SO attached to me and extremely needy. I really thought it would get better over time, but it appears to be getting worse. It's as if the more I love her, the more she craves it and realizes it was what she should have been getting all along. Does that make sense? Has anyone ever experienced this? She is always under my feet, tripping me. Always talking to me or simply saying my name so I will look at her even if she has nothing to say. Hugging me. Bolting into my lap the second I sit down. She finally plays in the other room with the kids, but peeks on me while I'm cleaning or whatever I'm doing. Hysterical if she thinks I'm leaving. She calls me her "very special mommy". I don't know if words can do a justice. She is just so incredibly needy that it's exhausting...even though I adore her. ETA: I simply can't wrap my mind around what her life looked like to bring her to this point, though I do know that the number of kids bio mom has lost is nearing the double digits, so I can only imagine.

Thank God that she has you, to know what love looks like!!! (((HUGS)))

[Mama2ManyBoyz]

Originally Posted by ~*~Sunflower~*~ Thank God that she has you, to know what love looks like!!! (((HUGS)))

Thanks...but sometimes I feel like I'm failing her because it is so exhausting and I feel smothered...she's got to sense that.

[FindingMercy]

Originally Posted by Mama2ManyBoyz Thanks...but sometimes I feel like I'm failing her because it is so exhausting and I feel smothered...she's got to sense that.

I know that feeling. My 2-year-old can be like that some days (so not nearly what you're dealing with), but after a while I just want to say "stop!!!!" Hopefully as she gains more confidence in your love she will be able to feel safe to not always be right by you. I forget how old she is, but do you think she would start to accept some boundaries? Like, when I sit down you can sit beside me, but not always on my lap?

[~*~Sunflower~*~]

Originally Posted by Mama2ManyBoyz Thanks...but sometimes I feel like I'm failing her because it is so exhausting and I feel smothered...she's got to sense that.

But we all feel like that sometimes! Even with our bio-kids! Its TOTALLY normal, and our kids know that we love them anyway. We aren't perfect. You are giving her so much, you are definitely not failing her!

[kkmoto]

Does she enjoy crafts? Maybe when you need a bit of a break tell her you would love it if she would make a really nice surprise card for you (maybe it would get you a few minutes of her not right on you).