DECEMBER 2012 CHAT THREAD

[juclark77]

Originally Posted by Mama2ManyBoyz I haven't posted in awhile, but we are still head over heels in love with dfd. She is SO attached to me and extremely needy. I really thought it would get better over time, but it appears to be getting worse. It's as if the more I love her, the more she craves it and realizes it was what she should have been getting all along. Does that make sense? Has anyone ever experienced this? She is always under my feet, tripping me. Always talking to me or simply saying my name so I will look at her even if she has nothing to say. Hugging me. Bolting into my lap the second I sit down. She finally plays in the other room with the kids, but peeks on me while I'm cleaning or whatever I'm doing. Hysterical if she thinks I'm leaving. She calls me her "very special mommy". I don't know if words can do a justice. She is just so incredibly needy that it's exhausting...even though I adore her. ETA: I simply can't wrap my mind around what her life looked like to bring her to this point, though I do know that the number of kids bio mom has lost is nearing the double digits, so I can only imagine.

It sound like she has developed an "insecure attachment." There are strategies for dealing with this. You could try googling it. I think Parenting the Hurt Child by Keck might be where I read about how to make it less severe. Attaching in Adoption might be another book to look in.

Here is a link that might be useful. Look particularly at the section Symptoms of Reactive Attachment Disorder. http://www.rainbowkids.com/ArticleDetails.aspx?id=513