Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

[songbird516]

I was observing the hospital childbirth education class (I should have kept my mouth shut, I know...) and since the "educator" said NOTHING about possible side effects from circing, and no one asked, I asked her if any baby had ever died from the procedure. Maybe not the best way to go about it, but that's what I asked. Truthfully she should have either said that there was a risk of bleeding or something like that, but she didn't. Instead she side-stepped the question then later asked me not to come back. In my area the circ rate is still around 70% because no one wants to talk about any possible complications. Because, after all, "you might upset the parents". (her words). I pointed out that they might be more upset when they learned too late that they didn't get all of the information necessary to make an truly informed decision.

Originally Posted by newmommy13 Wow I can't believe they show a video! If you can't watch it being done thats a clue that you might not want to make your baby actually go through the procedure. I love the ideals of the pnw. Fwiw I agree there is a tin of bashing of the medical community here. Probably most of it is waranted. However, whenever I read those posts I always have in the back of my mind that there are some seriously awesome doctors and nurses out there. Its like any other profession. DS has a lot to say about the medical community and I think I would have a hard time participating if I was reading broad (and not good!) generalizations about my profession. So while a lot may be true it sucks for you so...i guess I'm sorry about that. Lol not sure where I am going with that other than I wanted to acknowledge that I dont think you are evil because you are a nurse!

[KelseyH]

Originally Posted by ajane None of the 4 times I was pregnant did any of the dr.'s or nurses EVER let me know that you didn't have to circ or give us the option. In fact at the birth classes we had to take with dd1 they never mentioned anything about non circ'ing or even what circ'ing is. In fact they sent around the consent forms and had all of us sign them even if we knew we were having a girl "just in case" it was a boy. Then it could be just taken care of and they wouldn't have to worry about the paperwork.

This is how it is done in our area. My OB asked me at some point close to delivery if we were circ'ing, more as a "just to make sure" type of question, and he was seriously taken aback when I said NO!
I also had to refuse the paperwork SEVERAL times at the hospital because of doctors/nurses who wanted me to sign "just in case". Just in case what? I change my mind? Apparently it's impossible to do paperwork THEN.
There were a lot of things surrounding my birth and DS's first few weeks of care that I believe we would have truly suffered from had I not been as adamant/demanding as I was (refusing cs after 12 hours of labor, refusing circ, demanding an LC who could figure out what was wrong with DS's latch - severe tongue tie, etc, etc). It's unfortunate, but I feel like a lot of medical professionals around here have to be strong armed into providing excellent care. Of course there are a few exceptions, but it seems like most are afraid of wavering from what's easiest (for THEM) or what's closest to the status quo.

[CherryPie]

With my first intact son at a birth center, they were all like "oh good!" when I said no circing. At my followup, the midwife that saw us highly praised me for not circing him.

When I had my 2nd intact son at a hospital, the dr & hospital were really trying to upsell me to get that circ done on him. I had to say no like 5 times.

[Layney82]

I've never actually discussed circumcision with anyone in real life. It just never comes up; none of my acquaintances talk about babies' penises. When DS was born, not a single health care professional (or anyone) asked if we wanted to circumcise or commented on us not circumcising DS There seems to be a huge regional difference in that, but here, you have to specifically request a circumcision, and it isn't done right after birth, but a little down the line by a pediatric urologist.

In short, no - I've never felt judged.

ETA: The Canadian stance since the 1980s has been that the benefits do not outway the risks, so routine circing isn't recommended. http://www.caringforkids.cps.ca/handouts/circumcision It's pretty much a non-issue here.

[kushie tushie]

Originally Posted by Layney82 I've never actually discussed circumcision with anyone in real life. It just never comes up; none of my acquaintances talk about babies' penises. When DS was born, not a single health care professional (or anyone) asked if we wanted to circumcise or commented on us not circumcising DS There seems to be a huge regional difference in that, but here, you have to specifically request a circumcision, and it isn't done right after birth, but a little down the line by a pediatric urologist. In short, no - I've never felt judged. ETA: The Canadian stance since the 1980s has been that the benefits do not outway the risks, so routine circing isn't recommended. http://www.caringforkids.cps.ca/handouts/circumcision It's pretty much a non-issue here.

Thanks for sharing that link.
Its to bad the US cant take a *hint* from more progessive countries :/

Amanda . Blaming my phone for typos and crap.

[VinhThiMom]

I don't really feel judged. I don't know anyone IRL who isn't circ'd or who didn't circ their babies. But it doesn't really come up in conversation. My family knows and they just roll their eyes, like, "Here goes Stephanie, being all hippie again." CD'ing, BW'ing, non-circ'ing. Pretty radical stuff for my family. LOL

[beccatown]

I definitely think there are hard-core, judgement filled, hateful mamas on both sides. It's hard enough being a mommy, it's too bad that we can't all be as supportive as possible of each other. Most moms make the best decision they can based on their situation, culture, unforeseen circumstances, knowledge (or lack there of) etc. I don't think moms should have to defend every choice they make and really it isn't anyone's business anyway.

[hilaryisinked]

We were definitely judged when we said we weren't circumcising baby #2 (team green turned out to be a girl) but we knew we were right by our child and choosing the right thing so we stood our ground and were confident. We just laughed at the people tossing judgements at us because they were so ignorant.

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[hilaryisinked]

Oh and as far as our experience with doctors and nurses...we live in a high circ area and when we mentioned not circing if baby came out a boy the nurses rolled their eyes at us :/

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[mcpfeil]

Hi, I'm new but saw this topic and thought to respond. We did not Cirq both of our sons and do not regret our decision. More and more, parents are making the choice to keep their boys uncut, so our sons are not completely alone in their physiology. Also, the chance of the procedure being botched and/or scar tissue causing deformity and pain is just not a risk we were willing to take with our sweet boys.