Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-12-2012, 05:35 PM   #11
kharvey92611's Avatar
kharvey92611
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 455
Nope nothing what you would think of for a birthing center is close at . The "birthing center " that I would end up delivering at again is about 25 minutes from our house . All midwives that I'm finding in our area are about an hour to an hour and a half away . My husband would for sure be my support and care giver and in the event of an emergency would make the calls . His opinion means a lot to me . I know I could easily say " I'm having one and that's that " but I don't want to I want him on board . He says there's no way I can convince him a homebirth is safe

married ❤attached mama to L(8/07) and J(9/11) expecting baby #3 in August

Advertisement

__________________
married to DH since 2011�� Mom to L ��8.4.07 & J ��
kharvey92611 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2012, 06:03 PM   #12
evasimone's Avatar
evasimone
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 2,018
Re: Getting DH on board for a home birth

I can understand his hesitance especially with a midwife so far away. How far away is a hospital in case of emergency?

I have one hospital within 15 minutes of my home (probably 5-10 minutes in an ambulance) and my midwife could make it to my house within 20 minutes. I would be a lot more nervous if that wasn't the case.

Would your husband be more comfortable with a certified nurse midwife? It took me a while but I found a CNM who strictly did homebirths but had experience working in hospitals and birth centers, I had DH meet with her and basically she made him feel very comfortable with her level of experience and her knowledge and her passion for homebirths. It's harder to find CNM's that do homebirths but it's definitely awesome when you find one that's not a "med wife" which a lot of hospital CNM's are.

DH was hesitant but not as hesitant as yours; I would feel really hurt if my DH just told me he wasn't even open to thinking about something that affected me so much. It's important that your DH be on board and comfortable with the birth plan but ultimately it's you who is doing the work and it's you who is affected by where you birth so I find it supremely selfish. I hope you can change his mind...
__________________
E, wife to my rock, S 2009
Mama to DD 1/13
evasimone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-13-2012, 02:06 PM   #13
ktktbird's Avatar
ktktbird
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Middle east
Posts: 503
My Mood:
Re: Getting DH on board for a home birth

I know exactly how you feel! For our third I really wanted a home birth. DH said absolutely no way. I found a cnm who had worked in a hospital. I told her the situation and she was more than happy to have a sit down with us so that we could hash out the fears we had. It was great. I really wanted to validate his fears but we ended up not being trapped in them. And we were 5 minutes from the hospital, she had oxygen, knew how to detect too much blood loss, etc.
I hope you can both get on the same page. It's hard to work together when you have different desires. Prayers and hugs for you.
__________________
Katie- desperately loving Jesus sahm to A (7yrs), M(5yrs),
J
(3yr) a newbie R & married to my best friend B
ktktbird is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2012, 04:09 PM   #14
lady longs
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: az
Posts: 2,344
My Mood:
Re: Getting DH on board for a home birth

I actually asked this question to my midwife, on your behalf and here's what she said

1) See if you can sit down with someone (a good, experienced midwife) and talk about concerns

2) Remember that your relationship with your SO is of primary importance over where/how you deliver. Having 2 parents on the same page is more important than delivering at home.

Anyway, that's her advice after 26 years as a midwife....
lady longs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2012, 07:10 PM   #15
JennTheMomma's Avatar
JennTheMomma
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 7,820
My Mood:
Re: Getting DH on board for a home birth

I would have DH talk to the Midwife and write down all the questions he has for her. I think it's natural for husbands to be hesitant towards something that isn't that common. And while I realise you need to have your DH on your side, you also need to birth where you feel comfortable, especially after a traumatic first birth
JennTheMomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-18-2012, 08:35 AM   #16
Carolinagirlbrisa's Avatar
Carolinagirlbrisa
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 53
Honestly, with our first, I didn't have DH's full support. When we started discussing it, at first he said "no way." While I wanted his support, I knew that me being able to birth comfortably was just as important. I had already found midwives that I completely trusted and loved, and DH came to appointments with me. They tried to answer any concerns we had, but he still didn't want it. I told him either he could support me and enjoy the experience as well, or fight me and make us both miserable. I got him to take Bradley classes with me, which helped some. We are 5 minutes away from a great hospital if something were to go wrong. During our conversations about it, he was never willing to do any research or anything to validate his arguments, while I spent hours doing research on every topic related to bone birth. I told him that if he wasn't willing to do the research and know FACTS to back up his fears, then his opinion didn't count on this topic since I had done so much and had statistics and medical reports and stuff to validate my thoughts. He decided not to fight it, but he wasn't excited about it being at home. After our first DS was born in 2008, and he was there to experience it, he now LOVES home birth and told me he wouldn't want to do it any other way. We have had 3 beautiful home births, and even after a little too much blood loss after the last one, he is still fully supportive. Now he says no hospital unless absolutely necessary! He actually has told many people who ask him how great home birth is and how safe it is. I think having a supportive husband is important, but not as important as having a knowledgable care provider that you completely trust and is primarily concerned about a happy and safe delivery. If the mom is not comfortable, then the likelihood for interventions and complications is increased, which to me, is not an acceptable trade off for a supportive husband.
Carolinagirlbrisa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-2012, 02:24 PM   #17
kharvey92611's Avatar
kharvey92611
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 455
Thank you ladies ! I'm just frustrated , DH still no interest in talking about it other than saying "No" its odd to me bc before we found out I was pregnant and we talked about a
Home birth he was okay with it

Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum
__________________
married to DH since 2011�� Mom to L ��8.4.07 & J ��
kharvey92611 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-2012, 02:31 PM   #18
JennTheMomma's Avatar
JennTheMomma
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 7,820
My Mood:
Re: Getting DH on board for a home birth

I would just be blunt and say we're having the conversation now, like it or not.
JennTheMomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.