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Old 04-28-2012, 01:13 PM   #1
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Stealing/Lying.

So I need some advice on how to teach my 4 year old about stealing and lying... He has gotten really bad... He will take something and hide it in his pockets or behind his back. If you catch him with it he just giggles saying "I was hiding it from you"... He doesnt care. He will take mostly anything. If I tell him he cant have a snack he will sneak out to the kitchen and take one anyway. And then when you ask him about it hes quick to blame it on anyone else even his sleeping brother. Like today I told him to put the playing cards away at my parents house. I came back 5 mins later to check that he had cleaned them up and they were. But then I noticed he had his hands over his pockets. I asked him what was in his pockets and he said nothing, I asked him again and he said nothing. So I asked where the cards went? And he said I put them in the drawer (where I told him to put them).... After the fact I emptied his pockets and he had all the cards stuffed in there. I just dont know how to get across to him that you cant take something that is not yours.

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Old 04-28-2012, 01:23 PM   #2
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I am having the exact. same. problem with DS1. If you ask him if he did it, he screams no. I have explained in very simple terms what lying is and I have told him it is wrong. Same with taking things he shouldn't. I've done time out, taking away snacks, going to nap/bed early, losing tv time. It is sooo frustrating. He just turned 4 last week and it started getting so much worse around then (a couple of weeks before). ullhair: So no suggestions but you are not alone.

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Old 04-28-2012, 01:27 PM   #3
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Does he do it out in public like at stores? I don't have advice for you in the home but I will tell you what my mom did with me when I was maybe 5. I remember taking a York peppermint patty off the counter (those little 5 cents ones) at our local minimart an putting it in my pocket. When i got home I told my mom I guess out of guilt.
Anyway, she drove me back to the store and made me give it back to the owner and apologize. I remember being so embarrassed I never did it again. My point is if you run into a similar situation and there is an opportunity to make your little one fess up, he will realize there are consequences to his actions and he cant take what doesnt belong to him. I know you said he is only 4 so hopefully he will just grow out of it. Good luck!
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Old 01-12-2013, 08:26 PM   #4
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Re: Stealing/Lying.

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Originally Posted by Ericagreen2116 View Post
Does he do it out in public like at stores? I don't have advice for you in the home but I will tell you what my mom did with me when I was maybe 5. I remember taking a York peppermint patty off the counter (those little 5 cents ones) at our local minimart an putting it in my pocket. When i got home I told my mom I guess out of guilt.
Anyway, she drove me back to the store and made me give it back to the owner and apologize. I remember being so embarrassed I never did it again. My point is if you run into a similar situation and there is an opportunity to make your little one fess up, he will realize there are consequences to his actions and he cant take what doesnt belong to him. I know you said he is only 4 so hopefully he will just grow out of it. Good luck!
My almost 8 yr old now did before but when manager is kinda laughi8ng I think not very helpful on getting point across. She's in girl scouts & talked to police on like issues...... gggggrrr bang head......
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Old 01-12-2013, 09:45 PM   #5
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Re: Stealing/Lying.

My DD is sensitive and loves animals.

I told her the story of the boy who cried wolf. In a very animated way, describing the beautiful sheep and countryside. And when we got to the part of the story where the wolf attacked and killed and ate the sheep, I made it PG not G rated. She cried. I explained why no one could really trust the little boy anymore, b.c he had already lied so much.

Aside from that, I don't ignore lying on any level. Even joking has to be prefaced or immediately followed by "just kidding" or "this is a joke/story ". if it isn't, it's considered a lie and punishment follows.

Some punishments are writing sentences, being stuck AT MY SIDE for an entire day, losing social time, losing the item you lied about, etc. We also talk about lying and how you get in less trouble telling the truth than if you lie. About trust and what it is and why it is important. I think the dialogue helps a lot b/c it is kind of an abstract idea and hard to conceptualize at a young age.
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