thinking about birth

[clothdiapercrunchy]

so, up until last month, we were sure I was going to be having a c section. I have a vascular abnormality in my brain. I have had two vaginal births previously with no issues and my Neuroradiologist went ahead and okayed the vaginal delivery. My OB is a great lady, she is a high risk perinatologist who trained with midwives early on in her career and I trust her. She wants me to come in as early on in my labor as possible to monitor my blood pressure and pain level (my blood pressure getting too high could be an issue). I have never had high blood pressure before, in fact I tend to run low. I do have notoriously long labors. 41 hours and 7 days with my previous two pregnancies, I actively contract but do not make it past 5 cms very quickly. Once my water breaks, I have had a baby in 1.5 and 2 hours. I went from 3 cms to 10 cms in 2 hours. It took me 6 days to get to 3 cms and it was active crazy painful contractions for 6 days.

My dr said, if I make it to 39 weeks, she can induce me, she would prefer that, its easier to monitor me and control my vitals and pain. She said of course I can deny any medical intervention I do not want, she did say with the way I labor, my previous gestations, she doesnt want me to go past 40 weeks, but again I can refuse. I have never gone post dates.

There is a part of me that wants to go in at 39 weeks and be induced (please do not judge me, I am aware of the implications of this). I did not have natural births, I got epidurals many hours/days into my labors. I had ok experience's with them nothing bad and I just saw them as a tool and for me they were necessary. I would like to go natural but am ok either way. I kind of want to be induced because I do not want to be in labor for all those hours and days like before. I mean literally the one time I had pitocin, they gave me a little bit and just tipped the scales and labor progressed. I had an epidural but I still walked, went to the bathroom, could feel my legs, even felt ring of fire while pushing, so that was not an issue for me.

At the same time I am scared of possibly tempting the birth Gods so to speak. While I had looooong arduous labors, my births went phenominally well. What if being induced causes me to have HIGHER blood pressure because of the pain? IDK. Im assuming my dr plans on stripping my membranes first and she mentioned AROM because it seems once my water breaks my babies come out fast, she also discussed that of course that puts me on a clock for a c section. Im just really torn.

[clothdiapercrunchy]

OH and my EDD is 5/3/13. I was temping and am pretty sure that is fairly accurate within a day or so.

[Green Decals]

My concern with you being induced is trying to make something happen that your body isn't ready for, hence resulting in an even longer labor. You could always use induction methods to augment natural labor and possibly shorten it, but keep in mind that a of those hours/days of meds (pitocin/epi/etc.) also effect the baby. The longer you are on them, the greater risk to the baby with breathing difficulties, trouble transitioning, and long-term issues. Maybe wait until you start labor on your own and see how it goes?

[clothdiapercrunchy]

yeah that is where my mind is too. Like maybe this WONT be like before and the "help" will have the opposite effect on the baby, labor, and birth. Im probably worrying for nothing, most likely I wont go post dates. I think I just have to play it by ear and see how it goes.