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Old 01-23-2013, 08:24 AM   #1
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Question Need your ideas! (#2 in potty)

I had a parent of a 4K kid come in and ask for help on something. Her son refuses to go poop on the toilet. She says it's all about control and she really doesn't think it's anything physical. She said they have tried nearly everything. They have rewarded him for going. They even went to Toys R' Us and said you can buy any toy in the entire store and take it home but you can't open it until you go on the toilet. He picked out a toy and it is still sitting in the box 2 weeks later! I suggested to her that maybe there's a way to replace his control of going to the toilet with him having control of something else, but I need some more ideas. She says that he always has some excuse like "the toilet's old" or whatever. They tried giving him a laxative of some kind and he even last like 7 days on that before he went. He doesn't go at school either (he does go pee on the toilet at school and at home though).

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Old 01-23-2013, 09:58 AM   #2
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How old?
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Old 01-23-2013, 10:10 AM   #3
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Re: Need your ideas! (#2 in potty)

Both my boys were poop resistant.

I put DS1 in boxers and explained to him that if he pooped the poop would roll down his leg and get him dirty. He pooped once while wearing them and a pair of jeans. Apparently he was grossed out enough to use the toilet.

DS2 I would catch about to poop and race him to the potty where he would cry and fuss as he pooped. He tried really hard to hold it in. He had a major poop accident (he wore no undies, only pants) with his beloved baby sitter where he got so dirty he had to have a bath. He was mortified and started willingly pooping on the potty after that.

No amount of bribery was enough to motivate them to do it, but the messy, embarrassing, natural consequences were.

So my idea would be to take the little guy out of his undies and perhaps even his pants until he goes on the potty. If he wets at night, he gets a towel in the bed instead of pullups of some sort.
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Old 01-23-2013, 10:19 AM   #4
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Re: Need your ideas! (#2 in potty)

Quote:
Originally Posted by mibarra View Post
How old?
4K so 4/5 years old
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Old 01-23-2013, 10:22 AM   #5
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Re: Need your ideas! (#2 in potty)

Dd2 was that way. She could not be bribed to sit on the potty to poop to save her life. She would not poop on the potty - peed just fine but not poop. We got into a huge battle of the wills over it and honestly, it wasn't worth it. She'd hold it for days and days u til she pooped in her sleep because her body couldn't hold it in any longer. After a good 9 months of this we gave up. We put her in pullups and told to poop on e potty when she was ready. We completely stopped the battle. No mode bribing, yelling, rewarding, punishing. Nothing - poop was poop and when she was ready she could do it. But she'd get nothing for doing so (except praise). It took another 4 months but one day when she was 4 1/2 she went in the potty and pooped. She never looked back, never pooped in her pants again. She had to do it on her terms and nothing else (her personality with everything).

So my advice - give up. He'll do it when he's ready and not a minute sooner. If he could be bribed, it probably would have worked by now.
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Old 01-23-2013, 01:33 PM   #6
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Re: Need your ideas! (#2 in potty)

Could she try reverse psychology? Tell him - in a somewhat patronizing tone, "Awww, you're not big enough to use the potty; you can't poop in it. Don't worry - you're just not ready yet. Back into diapers you go!" start that on a Friday and see if he's pooped on the potty to prove he can be back out of diapers by Monday when school starts again?
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Old 01-23-2013, 05:59 PM   #7
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Re: Need your ideas! (#2 in potty)

Yikes! Sounds like full on defiance and laziness. She could put him in long cotton pants, like sweats so that when he does go poops, it runs down his leg and feels gross, like PP said. I wouldn't start demeaning him or using 'reverse psychology'- that will only serve to bring that kids self-esteem down. Tell her to stop the bribery because it's obviously not working. Another thing is to keep things low-keyed when she knows he needs to go poop. Maybe lightening things up and laughing/joking while he is on the potty will help him feel more relaxed. Then again, I'm only really experienced with two year olds at the potty so I would think it's a completely different mindset with a four year old. I hope things get resolved soon; cleaning up four yo poop in the dipes is no fun
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