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Old 01-24-2013, 08:15 PM   #11
LittleThingsMama638
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Originally Posted by harmoni247

You can't "not be a mom". You are one, but you can also be sexy. Like PP said: be multifaceted. Be all of you all of the time. Think of yourself like that song

"I'm a b**ch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint. And I do not feel ashamed."

People are not flat, you can be a child to you mother and a mother to your child at the same time, just as you're a sister to your siblings, a friend to your friends, and....... a wife to your partner. You shouldn't be trying to switch between different personas. I'm sure you want your child to embrace their whole selves. You are what they're watching, you give them the example.
That's very true. I do want to teach my children to embrace their entire selves. I don't know for me once I became a mom, I feel like I grew up too much. I don't think going out, stay up late, being crazy and reckless is fun anymore. I feel so much more reserved and guarded than I did before, and not all in a good way. I feel silly making out with dh like a teenager and things like that. It's very hard to explain for me. I can't think of a good example. I almost feel like I can't have fun anymore.

I do agree with scheduling sexy time. I find that when I know it's coming it is a lot easier to get ready ready for it,

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Old 01-25-2013, 08:48 AM   #12
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Re: Sexy AND Mommy?

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I think the first step is sharing this exact feeling with your husband. Share all of it - being a mama with responsibilities, wanting it to be like back in the day, needing some motivation... I'm guessing he's been "waiting" for you.
I think this is wonderful advice!
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Old 01-25-2013, 09:39 AM   #13
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Re: Sexy AND Mommy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by danner View Post
I think the first step is sharing this exact feeling with your husband. Share all of it - being a mama with responsibilities, wanting it to be like back in the day, needing some motivation... I'm guessing he's been "waiting" for you.

I like this.

I personally jumpstart myself with exercise to feel a bit better about myself before tackling a concern of mine. (former athlete, I feel uncomfortable looking and feeling as I do- so when I feel more in shape, I have an easier time talking about anything. your thing would be based on who you are )


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Old 01-25-2013, 09:47 AM   #14
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Re: Sexy AND Mommy?

I'm struggling with that too.
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Old 01-25-2013, 12:06 PM   #15
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Re: Sexy AND Mommy?

It sounds like you figured some of the reason out why yourself - you're not comfortable with your body right now. Can you put aside some time every day or even every week where you do something to make yourself feel good and sexy about yourself. Maybe you take a bath once a week. Maybe it's putting lotion on before bed. Maybe going for a walk after dinner (while your husband cleans up )If money isn't a problem maybe buy yourself some new undergarments, or a new perfume, or makeup or go for a pedicure or even give yourself one. It's hard when you're so busy to take the time for yourself, but if you think about it, it's only a little extra effort which you feel good about after. Don't try to make a big change that you won't stick to, just little ones.
Also try getting some books to spice up your sex life. I'm not saying dirty books, but books on improving sex, or new positions or try out a new toy. Sometimes the feelings come after making the effort.
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